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Paying For Happiness

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  • Paying For Happiness

    It was a passing glance in which she caught my eye
    After a few more passing my lust was certified
    As much as I try blame it, on an alcohol fuelled haze
    I know that it was more than that, a much far greater shame
    Should I blame the city lights that entranced me with their gaze
    Should I blame the way you smirked and knew I'd come your way
    Should I blame my companion who let me go astray
    Or should I blame my body that encouraged me to pay

    Should I blame the lovers before you, who could not sate my appetite
    Or should I blame my mind, for not having the will to fight
    Should I blame my heart, for betraying me again
    Or should I just blame myself and let the suffering end
    She opened up her door for me, with a smile that sparked a fire
    And thought that in this drunk fuelled state, that she'd curve my desires
    The way she moved and swayed herself, in that small room with such grace
    I must of looked like such a fool in that nervous, stricken, state
    She entranced my mind and body as my armour peeled away
    She smiled that smile that lured me in, and told me I should stay
    But deep down in my heart I knew, that this was not okay
    Because she would do anything as long as I would pay
    As we laid down to do the deed my head began to clear
    And suddenly my heart it clenched as my mind filled with fear
    That many had paid for her before, some wanted slow some wanted fast
    That I would never be her first, and certainly not her last
    I had this brunette beauty here in the palm of my hand
    And knew that for the right price she'd follow my commands
    But still I felt a twinge of guilt as my mind began to say
    'I'm sure she never wanted this to ever be her fate'
    'I'm sure she never thought that she would end up in this state'
    'By giving herself readily to anyone that would pay'
    'That she would lose her dignity and self respect along the way'
    'That she would put a price upon her body inside a window pane'
    But I still carry on despite what my mind says
    'She doesn't have another choice, Basically it's rape!'
    Then suddenly I stop my heart freezes in place
    'The only love that you deserve is one in which you pay'
    The suddenly it's over and we say our parting ways
    Despite the the pain and guilt I smiled as tears ran down my face
    I walked the bitter winter streets as night turned into day. And thought?
    'Maybe love would be fun, if you didn't have to pay'

  • #2
    Travlers Tales, congratulations on so bravely and movingly and powerfully writing Paying for Happiness! Monica

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