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In the Kabul Bazaar

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  • In the Kabul Bazaar

    You that day
    Were complexity showing off her virtuous wares
    In the vivid marketplace

    The Afghan peddlers
    With their hammered copper ewers
    Clumped together
    Amid the pomegranate-coloured rugs piled high
    From Mazar-i-Sharif

    Where does that burnished space
    Now reside
    Infinitely split into numinous worlds

    If I could go back
    Put my hand firmly in yours
    That day
    The languorous flies draped like a black chadri
    On dangling Halal goats

    If I could go

  • #2
    Tanner REAlly like:
    Where does that burnished space
    Now reside
    Infinitely split into numinous worlds


    • #3
      Thanks for your comment. I used to live in Afghanistan as a teenager for a couple of years.


      • #4
        Possibly this is a difference in age...

        You have a unique vision and wording; but I think your work would improve substantially, if it were less e e cummings and bit more Strunk & White.

        These days, very few people know who e e cummings is/was, but almost everyone knows Mark Twain. What's below was written by Mr. Clemmens as a eulogy his daughter, Olivia Susan Clemens, and shows why he is remembered.

        Warm summer sun,
        Shine kindly here,
        Warm southern wind,
        Blow softly here.
        Green sod above,
        Lie light, lie light.
        Good night, dear heart,
        Good night, good night.


        • #5
          It would be nice to remembered for centuries, but a day in the sun is also good. I love this, Tanner. Beautiful, exotic images. Thanks for posting.


          • D.F.Russell
            D.F.Russell commented
            Editing a comment
            So there are no misunderstandings, my comments were intended as helpful. If anyone was offended, my apologies.

        • #6
          And taken as helpful on my part. I did not mean to diminish your constructive criticism, D.F. Russell. I meant only to say that Samuel is a hard act to follow.
          Last edited by MHenry; 04-05-2016, 07:52 PM.


          • #7
            Powerfully evocative of place in a few deftly handled details. Romantic in the best sense.


            • #8
              Tanner Congratulations on the Honorable Mention my friend! Though I would have preferred to see this as an official winner ... it is a winner of a myriad of accolades in MY book! You know I am a fan of your work!

              I have oft visited this place:
              Amid the pomegranate-coloured rugs piled high...
              longing for the:

              that day!



              • #9
                Michael, congratulations on your well-deserved honorable mentions. Your poetry is truly affecting!


                • #10
                  SZ & SZ, I value your poetry and your friendship, both of which are life enhancing.
                  Last edited by Tanner; 05-16-2016, 10:31 AM.


                  • #11
                    Congratulations, Tanner, on this well deserved honour. You have plenty of true believers in your poetry here at RhymeZone, but it should be much more widely recognised. I hope this honourable mention encourages you to venture farther and look for avenues that will widen your readership.


                    • #12
                      Congratulations Tanner!! This is a winner in my book.


                      • #13
                        Congratulations Tanner!


                        • #14
                          This is beautiful. congratulations