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  • MoNstRoSiTy

    It's sad your fear

    knowing that death is near

    you lay hapless as a newborn
    covered in feces

    you tell me you love me
    you're so full of shit

    you would tell me anything now
    to save
    your pathetic life

    but I promise to bestow upon you
    something greater
    more perspicacious than life itself

    with your death
    I shall create a symphonic masterpiece
    in the uproar
    upon finding you
    naked of flesh
    hanging by your intestines

    will surpass that of Burke and Hare
    killers extraordinaire

    I shall become known as
    the one
    to whom all others pay homage

    so pray to me and ask my forgiveness

    for even God knows
    not to interfere with that which I create

    you see

    crying is futile

    yet your wails
    sounds as beautiful music
    salaciously enticing

    your tongue
    I shall keep
    as a
    reminder of this moment

    so scream my child
    until your heart's content
    and your lungs collapse
    for there is patience in dying
    and my knives
    are sharper than surgeons steel

    so relax
    is not of the essence here

    would you
    care a taste

    open wide and eat of your flesh
    for heaven abounds in its delicacies
    do you see how my dogs devour it

    your breast I shall keep for myself
    for I find immeasurable pleasure comes
    from eating
    chocolate covered nipples

    the way the areola
    plays upon the palate
    like a child eating cotton candy on a rainy day
    I shall relish in it's memories forever

    your eyes I will keep as witness
    seeing only unto themselves
    pickled and tart
    a perfect noon snack
    with crackers and tea
    don't you think

    their shock and awe
    visualize the headlines
    Monster Stalks City
    as if
    my monstrosity
    they can envision (input demonic laughter)

    monsters all of them
    recycling feces upon the populace
    there's breath in your lungs
    to vilify me insane
    insanity could not have created death
    so beautifully orchestrated
    and demonstrated

    as abstract poetry
    beautiful in its fluency
    next only
    to the decay of society

    your death
    the epitome
    the hallmark of all my gatherings
    culminated in your sufferings

    will outlive posterity

    and I
    long dead
    shall be resurrected
    a copycat a rock star

    for you see my dear
    it will not end
    with you or I
    or the sudden ablation
    of your flesh
    you will live
    the abstraction of your heart

    and I promise you
    my love
    saved for last

    it will be
    the best part.

    somewhere in japan scientist have learned how to recycle human feces into food. Wouldn't it be better as an alternative source of energy instead of steaks for human consumption.

  • #2
    The darkness that unfolds in this metaphor, is chilling. A very intriguing write to say the least!


    • Odonko-ba
      Odonko-ba commented
      Editing a comment
      I was trying to create a monster that surpasses even Burke and Hare, Edidburgh Scotland serial killers of 1828. It started with a thought grew wings and took off on its own. Maybe I have found my niche.

  • #3
    Hi, Odonoko-ba, You have outdone yourself with this one! I love the story and the way you put it together. I agree, eating feces may be the highest and best use of human waste, but I can't really think of a wine with which to pair it. I suppose we could wash it down with a glass of repurposed urine...


    • grant hayes
      grant hayes commented
      Editing a comment
      Hahahahahahahahahaha, that is hilarious MHenry!

    • imrogue
      imrogue commented
      Editing a comment
      lol Mhenry. your comment made me laugh

  • #4
    Hi Odonko-ba. Well, you had me thinking you'd turned into Hannibal Lecter there for a good long while! Strewth! This is a gruesome tour de force, with flashes of dark humour; maybe you have found your niche in horror, as you say. I most like the last third from 'imagine' onward, with the reflections on posterity. It ends enigmatically, with the 'abstraction of the heart' and that saved up last love; this is an excellent way to conclude! Leaves the reader with a bit of a mystery.

    I picked up a few minor glitches for you to review; nothing that affects the wording substantially. All suggestions only

    'not to interfere with that which I create' => suggested amendment in the interests of flow: 'not to interfere with what I create'

    'yet your wails
    sounds as beautiful music' => change 'wails sounds' to 'wails sound' or 'wail sounds'

    'would you
    care a taste' => 'would you care for a taste' or 'would you care to taste'

    'I shall relish in it's memories forever' => 'I shall relish its memories forever' or 'I shall revel in its memories forever'

    Last edited by grant hayes; 04-14-2016, 01:27 AM.


    • Odonko-ba
      Odonko-ba commented
      Editing a comment
      I have taken into consideration the amendments you have suggested and feel you are correct in your analysis. I will be making the above said changes soon. As you know grammar is not my strong suit. So I am humbly grateful for all the suggestions. Thank you poet.