​The Dream Dreaming Us

[Sharonlee]

The Dream Dreaming Us

Visions of nirvana give hope to willing hearts-
- dreams that global peace will one day be
a part of our future
feed our waking hours…
so soft visions of what could be
if only
if only we
unit as one global community…
… one dream… one race of many… one heartbeat
beating for this wondrous Earth… beating in time’s cadence
to Natures natural rhythm …
beating to the drum of freedom
dancing to the pulse of the seasons
embracing all … encompassing all…

Visions of nirvana give hope to willing hearts
- hearts that dream of togetherness and acceptance
of soil and toil and the rejuvenation of both spirit and land…
visualizations and revelations come to us, in day-bright image
and dreaming soul… in Summer’s burgeoning heat and Winter’s cold
this Earth has placed in our hands her trust
I know… for this is the dream dreaming us…
Sharon Lee Goodhand © 2016

[pipersfancy]

Hi Sharonlee,

I've enjoyed this ethereal vision of what we might strive toward within an all-encompassing global community. I will offer some suggestions for your consideration, to do with as you see best.

Visions of nirvana give hope to willing hearts- —Nirvana, proper noun? I've always capitalized it, but could easily be wrong!
- dreams that global peace will one day be —not sure of the purpose of the, ( - ) to start this line since the previous line ends with the same
a part of our future
feed our waking hours…
so soft visions of what could be
if only
if only we
unit as one global community…
… one dream… one race of many… one heartbeat —all important points to consider. Important enough, that I'd be inclined to give each thought its own line.
beating for this wondrous Earth… beating in time’s cadence
to Natures natural rhythm …
beating to the drum of freedom
dancing to the pulse of the seasons
embracing all … encompassing all…

Visions of nirvana give hope to willing hearts
- hearts that dream of togetherness and acceptance
of soil and toil and the rejuvenation of both spirit and land…
visualizations and revelations come to us, in day-bright image
and dreaming soul… in Summer’s burgeoning heat and Winter’s cold
this Earth has placed in our hands her trust
I know… for this is the dream dreaming us…

For greater flow between thoughts and lines, I'd consider a little different organization to this poem, along with a reworking of punctuation marking. Consider:

Visions of nirvana give hope to willing hearts—

(the) dream that global peace — the use of the dream rather than dreams here is to provide continuity with the repeated phrase of one dream which occurs a few lines down
will one day be a part of our future

feeding our waking hours
so soft visions of what could be
if only
if only we
unit as one global community

one dream

one race of many

one heartbeat

beating for this wondrous Earth
beating in time’s cadence
to Natures natural rhythm

beating to the drum of freedom
dancing to the pulse of the seasons
embracing all
encompassing all

Visions of nirvana give hope to willing hearts—

hearts that dream of togetherness
and acceptance
of soil
and toil
rejuvenation (for) both spirit and land

visualizations and revelations come to us
in day-bright image
and dreaming soul

in Summer’s burgeoning heat
and Winter’s cold
this Earth has placed in our hands her trust
I know

for this is the dream dreaming us

Many lovely and lyrical lines throughout the poem, and (IMHO) a reworking of the poem's structure/organization would serve to enhance and showcase these lines. (Letting the lines open and breathe!)

Warmest regards, and best wishes for this contest entry.

[John Wertz]

I really liked the middle section with the repetition of "if only, one, beating" I could hear the drum beat in this. Very effective.

[Sharonlee]

Many thanks Piper and John .

Piper thank you for the pointers, I appreciate the time you took to write these out.
The style I write in is a personal choice, a poetic persona; most of my poetry is written this way. Not so much epic fantasy poetry, but everything else.

Wishing you both a great day.

[Dee Camper]

I enjoyed the write, Sharonlee! I do hope that one day we all get along peacefully (not a one world government though ). Those last two lines really rocked me!

[TimPaige]

I really liked the middle section with the repetition of "if only, one, beating" I could hear the drum beat in this. Very effective.

It's really amazing But...To be honest, I am very tired of dreaming about something and then suffering from the fact that it is impossible, so over time you begin to appreciate the feeling that you are in nirvana and even try to achieve it. I realized this quite late and after a lot of mistakes ... Everything became so bad that I started dreaming about it already in a dream. In the last time, I have very strange dreams. Recently, I even saw cats in a dream and decided to find out what that means, and to be honest, I was very surprised ... Many people expressed different opinions, but then I came across dreams-meaning.com and I was very surprised. It turned out that I was worried in vain and these dreams indicate that I am on the right track and a cute pet will be waiting for me soon in a warm house.!

[ebetura]

great verse