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SIXTY YEARS CAGED

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  • SIXTY YEARS CAGED

    POEM #306

    SIXTY YEARS CAGED
    Sixty years caged,
    Happily engaged.
    True love when started,
    Soon was departed.
    My young years vanished,
    Now forever banished.
    Heart broken with grief,
    Is there no relief?
    Nothing for me here,
    Do I stay from fear?
    Can happiness be found?
    Or am I sadness bound?
    A coward won't leave,
    Stay and cling and cleave.
    Cheating was the crime,
    Stealing years of time.
    Starting over again,
    Where, how do I begin?
    Sixty years of my life,
    Given a untrue wife!
    Shouting out my plea,
    Find someone for me!

    Written by Carl Mann
    The kurlman
    1-4-2015
    Pleasant Hill, Ohio
    Last edited by The kurlman; 01-09-2015, 08:02 AM. Reason: 4th and 3rd line from bottom re-wrote , much stronger

  • #2
    That's very deep. May I suggest using more metaphors or descriptive language in your poetry. It allows readers to connect and find their own interpretations of your words. Plus it makes the reader feel the pain and feel the emotion you're trying to portray. Overall it is very good. I'm just offering a suggestion

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    • #3
      I understand! Truly I do. I think it was very well spoken and I felt your pain! Good job again and always

      Comment


      • #4
        Deeeeep, kid. Absolutely. Well written.

        Comment


        • #5
          Thanks for the very kind WORDS

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