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How I Feel

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  • How I Feel

    I was never the type to have my heart broken
    I am not the type to get upset and cry
    Because I’ll never let my heart open to you
    And it doesn’t hurt me to say goodbye
    A relationship to me isn’t that deep I must admit
    I never really understood the whole in love bit
    Someone can say that they truly and dearly love me
    And at one time it would have meant something to me
    But now it doesn’t mean a damned thing
    Now my mind is gone, spinning so effortlessly
    And deep within myself, my tears will drown
    I’m starting to lose my grip on reality
    I’m giving in to my insanity, praying it offers me sanctuary
    What’s happening to me?
    It feels like my mind is being ripped in half by all of these things
    Buzzing around like some angry bees
    I’ve strayed from the love
    I strayed from the path
    And now I am lost inside of myself
    You have asked me so many times
    What is going on, what’s wrong with you man?
    This is how I feel:
    This time I felt like it was different
    Turns out I was just so wrong again
    I was just a victim in this crime
    And the regret cut me just like a knife
    When you up and walked out of my door
    I prayed to God he’d end my discorded life
    Now I have this condition
    And I have all the symptoms
    Of a girl with a broken heart
    But no matter what, you will never see me cry
    Did it happen when we first kiss?
    Was that when you beguiled me to be yours?
    ‘Cause it’s killing me to let you go
    Maybe it’s because we spent so much time
    And I know it’ll never be us again
    I shoulda never let you be mine, baby
    I don’t know why I’m so sad to see us apart
    I didn’t give you my heart on purpose
    I gotta figure how you stole
    So I can get it back again
    My soul is dead, and my world is atwirlin’
    And deep inside, my sorrow has died
    I am losing myself, inside of my grief
    When you ask, what my problem is,
    This is how I feel:
    I thought you were different from the rest
    But it turns out you were never for the best
    Then the anger and the sadness overflowed to a gun
    And when I pull the trigger, know that I’m done!
    Now I’m in this new kind of condition
    Where my body is just another addition
    To the countless bodies piled in the ground
    Where no more will I ever hear another sound
    Nor will I ever have to feel another broken heart
    And I will no longer play that part
    Of being the one who always cries alone
    Now that my brains have been blown
    And I wonder how I got here with you
    How this thing we had was ever really true
    I never meant for things to get personal
    And the things that you do are making me criminal
    After all I did to stay away from this
    I hate to admit that being with you is bliss
    But what you’ve done has left me broken
    Now I am telling you to go without as much as a token
    I just can’t let know and I won’t let it show
    But I just have this desire to know
    Was the love you had for me real?
    What was your true ideal?
    I keep on bleeding from the wounds you gave
    Leaving me with this storm to brave
    You will never be the one to send me to my grave
    Because it will always be you that I save
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