Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Upon a Winter's Eve

Collapse
X
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Upon a Winter's Eve

    In the quickening depth
    of winter's cold, frozen breath,
    when time more lingers than flies,
    Jackals of black soot and flames
    break from chimney stack and chains,
    to prowl the glowering sky.

    The grinning Buglies, I'm told,
    become ever so bold
    and lurk near swings at the park;
    Where beasts, red in tooth and claw,
    search for tenderlings to gnaw
    and run hurdy-gurdy through the dark.

    Creeping through forest and stream
    comes the oviparous Sleen
    seeking a warm home for its young.
    And your hair, my tremorous youth,
    though it seems quite uncouth,
    is the nest from which they'd be slung.

    Trees, who in summer so dear,
    become things to be feared,
    their naked branches raking the sky.
    And the birds that they shelter
    whistle Helter-Skelter...
    and gaze hungrily at your eyes.

    So, at winter's day ending
    upon the moon's portending,
    forego your mischief and come inside.
    But, step softly my child,
    though the fire seems mild
    its temperance may not always be scried.

    Raleigh, NC
    Last edited by D.F.Russell; 12-30-2014, 12:01 PM.

  • #2
    Are you published somewhere?

    Comment


    • D.F.Russell
      D.F.Russell commented
      Editing a comment
      In a small collection published in Japan in Japanese and English, several years ago.

  • #3
    Hi D.F. Thanks for the kind words. Enjoyed your poem as well. I thought it had a T.S. Elliot thing going on; which I go for sometimes but with not so much success.

    Comment


    • D.F.Russell
      D.F.Russell commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you. I'm flattered. I've always thought that was more Lewis Carrol than T.S. Elliot, though

  • #4
    Great job DF! What a rich and complex poem. So much is packed in there that one must read it several times and still the taste does not fade. Love the lines:

    "Trees, who in summer so dear,
    become things to be feared,
    their naked branches raking the sky."

    Thanks for sharing.

    Comment


    • D.F.Russell
      D.F.Russell commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you. I had Strunk&White pounded into me, so I tend towards brevity

  • #5
    "Vigorous writing is concise. A sentence should contain no unnecessary words, a paragraph no unnecessary sentences, for the same reason that a drawing should have no unnecessary lines and a machine no unnecessary parts. This requires not that the writer make all his sentences short, or that he avoid all detail and treat his subjects only in outline, but that he make every word tell."
    —"Elementary Principles of Composition", The Elements of Style

    Comment


    • #6

      Sehr schön! Danke

      Comment


      • D.F.Russell
        D.F.Russell commented
        Editing a comment
        Thank you for saying so... and thank you google translate!

    • #7
      Amazing images!

      Comment


      • #8
        Actually it reminds me of Ted Hughes style. The heaviness of it.

        Comment


        • D.F.Russell
          D.F.Russell commented
          Editing a comment
          Hughes was a very bright and very damaged man, and, like Sylvia Plath, he could express it in his writing. But death and anger seemed to follow him. I'm more a painter than a writer, but I thank you for your words. Since you said you liked Hughes, I'll post something that's a bit more in that vein.

      • #9
        Is the green painting one of yours?

        Comment


        • #10
          Yes, the painting was done by me. It's a watercolor on very hard bristol paper.

          Comment


          • #11
            You are blessed! Thanks for sharing your gift. Now we are blessed!

            Comment


            • #12
              Thank you for your kind words; but it's been my experience that as more is given, more is taken. Oftentimes, I'd happily be less "blessed."

              Comment


              • #13
                I would have loved to see Gahan Wilson illustrate this!

                Comment


                • #14
                  Thank you. I would have, also

                  Comment


                  • #15
                    I love the image of soot-jackals. Though some of your language (and perhaps a Gorean reference?) gives this poem, yes, a Carrollean Jabberwocky flavor, it remains uniquely yours.

                    Comment

                    Working...
                    X