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How to Open a Package (or Understanding How to Open a Package)
Maybe it’s just age, but type size is shrinking on the page,
It could be me, I’ll bet you too, are lids now harder to unscrew?
Every package I try to strip, good heavens! Seems I’ve lost my grip,
Any unwrapping I don’t get far, notice trouble disrobing a candy bar.
The purchase there before my eyes in plastic clam-shell is my prize,
And oh how happy I shall be if I can get this dang thing free!
Can’t find an edge to start or peel; switchblade needed to break the seal,
That scored tear-mark seldom works, immune to all my pulls and jerks
Best fingernails prove obsolete as I stretch, rip, tug and beat
Angry struggles don’t make a dent, must fetch a sharper instrument.
So well named “blister” pack, the Band-Aid box next needs a whack.
Last resort, I’ll use my teeth; the plywood cardboard could cure a thief.
Be counseled, you are not a goof cause tamper-free means Open-Proof
Millions try like me and you fighting boxes sealed with super glue.
Truth be known? Bet you’ll agree; today’s packaging is a conspiracy.
Maybe it’s just age, but type size is shrinking on the page,
It could be me, I’ll bet you too, are lids now harder to unscrew?
Every package I try to strip, good heavens! Seems I’ve lost my grip,
Any unwrapping I don’t get far, notice trouble disrobing a candy bar.
The purchase there before my eyes in plastic clam-shell is my prize,
And oh how happy I shall be if I can get this dang thing free!
Can’t find an edge to start or peel; switchblade needed to break the seal,
That scored tear-mark seldom works, immune to all my pulls and jerks
Best fingernails prove obsolete as I stretch, rip, tug and beat
Angry struggles don’t make a dent, must fetch a sharper instrument.
So well named “blister” pack, the Band-Aid box next needs a whack.
Last resort, I’ll use my teeth; the plywood cardboard could cure a thief.
Be counseled, you are not a goof cause tamper-free means Open-Proof
Millions try like me and you fighting boxes sealed with super glue.
Truth be known? Bet you’ll agree; today’s packaging is a conspiracy.