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3 am goodbyes

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  • 3 am goodbyes

    I sit here and stare at the wall blankly,
    I don't know what to do or say frankly,
    So I sit here and ask God, why oh why,
    But he never replies so I just sit here and cry,

    I wonder if you think of me at 3 in the morning,
    When your depression kicks in with no forewarning,
    Does the thought of me bring a tear to your eye,
    Or does it remind you of all the times you wish to die,

    I wonder if you smile when you hear my name,
    Or perhaps you feel undeniable shame,
    I wonder if your heart flutters when I say I love you,
    Or maybe you feel like it's not true,

    I wonder if you fear of me leaving,
    Or maybe you would never even start grieving,
    I wonder if I died today,
    After they told you what you would say,

    Maybe that I deserved it or maybe you'd cry,
    Either way when I'm gone, promise you won't try,
    You have your whole life in the palms of your hands,
    Just take a step forward and step on the land,

    It's 3 in the morning and I'm thinking about you,
    My depression is making me a little blue,
    The thought of you brings a tear to my eye,
    I don't know what to do if you ever died,

    I hear your name and I smile instantly,
    That's my boyfriend I say cheerfully,
    My heart flutters when you say I love you,
    And when I say it I promise it's true,

    My biggest fear is of you leaving me,
    You don't know how much more depressed I'd be,
    If you died today, I know what I'd say,
    I'm going to kill myself cause he was my sun on a day so gray,

    That you were my forever and now my forever is gone,
    And don't you say I can just move on,
    I need you and I love you,
    I promise it's true.