3 am goodbyes

[Kthigpen01]

I sit here and stare at the wall blankly,
I don't know what to do or say frankly,
So I sit here and ask God, why oh why,
But he never replies so I just sit here and cry,

I wonder if you think of me at 3 in the morning,
When your depression kicks in with no forewarning,
Does the thought of me bring a tear to your eye,
Or does it remind you of all the times you wish to die,

I wonder if you smile when you hear my name,
Or perhaps you feel undeniable shame,
I wonder if your heart flutters when I say I love you,
Or maybe you feel like it's not true,

I wonder if you fear of me leaving,
Or maybe you would never even start grieving,
I wonder if I died today,
After they told you what you would say,

Maybe that I deserved it or maybe you'd cry,
Either way when I'm gone, promise you won't try,
You have your whole life in the palms of your hands,
Just take a step forward and step on the land,

It's 3 in the morning and I'm thinking about you,
My depression is making me a little blue,
The thought of you brings a tear to my eye,
I don't know what to do if you ever died,

I hear your name and I smile instantly,
That's my boyfriend I say cheerfully,
My heart flutters when you say I love you,
And when I say it I promise it's true,

My biggest fear is of you leaving me,
You don't know how much more depressed I'd be,
If you died today, I know what I'd say,
I'm going to kill myself cause he was my sun on a day so gray,

That you were my forever and now my forever is gone,
And don't you say I can just move on,
I need you and I love you,
I promise it's true.