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Things I Just Don't Understand

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  • Things I Just Don't Understand

    Things I Just Don’t Understand
    (sounds best when read aloud with a bit of fun country twang…)

    I’m a fairly smart guy.
    Well, I know a thing or two.
    But it’s that 3rd and 4th thing
    that have got me confused.

    Maybe you can shed some light
    for this here simple man
    ‘cuz there’s some things
    I just don’t understand.

    Why are they called apartments
    when they are so close together?
    We park in the driveway & drive on the parkway.
    I’m not so sure that’s clever.

    Why is it called a pair of pants
    when you only get one?
    How is it that our feet smell
    and our noses run?

    And I just gotta know…
    do hotcakes really sell that well?
    The logic of this stuff
    is hard to tell.

    Why is it called the Olive Garden
    and the sign is a bunch of grapes?
    How come in Hawaii they’ve got
    interstate highways?

    Why do people say, “Heads up!”
    when they want me to duck?
    If I had thirteen sevens
    would that be good or bad luck?

    Every time I did the laundry
    one sock disappeared.
    These are things that
    strike me as kinda weird.

    How come…
    When we say the alphabet
    we say L-M-N-O-P real fast?
    Why does the dentist talk to me
    when I can’t answer back?

    Why do fingers turn so orange
    when you much on Cheetos?
    How come Noah did not choose
    to swat them two mosquitoes?

    Why is the word phonetic not
    spelled the way it sounds?
    These are things I just can’t
    seem to wrap my brain around.

    Perhaps a little mystery in life
    is actually kinda good.
    But still I can’t help wishing that
    I fully understood.

  • #2
    Love it! I wish I were a musician! Thanks for a fun read!