I love my grandma dearly
And I’m sure that she means well
But the gifts she gives confuse me
Is she joking? I can’t tell!

My attempts at understanding
Why she chooses what she does
Make me wonder, is she planning
Or just picking stuff because?

Please consider my example
I’m a man of forty-three
And I’m six foot four and hairy
With a wife and family

And she gave me something recently
Atrocious, I’ll admit,
But she wanted me to try them on
To see how well they fit

And it’s just because I love her
That I kept my big mouth shut
And spent Christmas day in purple sweats
With “Juicy” on the butt!