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A WOMAN’S GRIEF AFTER COMBAT (Understanding the plight of others)

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  • A WOMAN’S GRIEF AFTER COMBAT (Understanding the plight of others)

    Guns Bullets Fire Blast!
    Guns Battle Bomb Blast!
    Guns Gunners Mortar Blast!

    I went to war to become a man
    And a man I thus became
    I shaved my hair
    I didn’t care
    Took up arms
    Caused brutal harm
    Suffered in Silence
    Intense violence
    Go shot at along side you just the same

    Guns Bombs Bullets Blast!
    Bombs Bombers Mortars Blast

    I saw Men Women Children die
    I did my job I didn’t cry
    I saved my tears
    Suppressed my fears
    Confronted hate
    And didn’t break
    Followed the drill
    Prepared to kill

    Didn’t allow myself to speak out
    And question why?

    Bombs Bombers Fire Blast

    Til finally I returned home to try
    And reflect on why

    Bombs Fire Fire Blast
    Bombs Fire Bombs Blast

    I’d suffered an inch or two reduction in height
    The price I paid for combatant fight

    I wondered next where did the female go?
    I wanted to know
    I wanted to know

    I see a slew of girls with their pretty locks
    Where’s my femininity?
    Locked in the box
    The girly thing within
    Hidden safely away
    No coming out at the end of the day
    Simply hidden
    Hidden away

    Now in the absence of war
    What I craved more
    To cease the opportunity
    To unzip my masculinity
    Claim back my femininity
    Find once again who I really am

    The chance to dance, romance
    Grow back my hair
    Float around in lovely dresses
    Pretty skirts like other girls there
    Laugh Joke
    Reasonably reason and question
    Like normal folk
    Prove to myself I am woman after all

    I was a Woman
    I am a Woman
    A woman and a soldier
    A woman and a strong man
    A woman
    Where did my womanhood go?

    I was a Female ripped apart
    Fe…….. Male
    Where is Fe?
    I’m looking for Fe
    I’m finding my female parts

    Stitching them back together
    With visible seams

    Guns bullet blast blast!

    How do I look
    I feel great

    Returning to comfort security
    And the love of my family
    Meeting my son
    Continuing as mum

    I’ve surreptitiously
    Exchanged Fe
    For trauma

    That’s right
    The hidden box
    That protected Fe
    Now contains PTSD