Looking 4 ways

You’re floating through the middle of this ceaseless marine
Your hands bound tight behind your back,
Icy fingers grasp your neck
No vision, comprehension of the cold
Searching for that yellow that ends it all but only seeing black.

Lungs being shaded blue in hollows running way inside your chest
Desperate to exhale the poisonous air that soaks inside,
Waiting for another to take it in,
Just waiting to release all that you hide.

This hunger you have for others to see you
This yearning you have inside you,
The way you crave to be understood
That burning that ignites you.
It submerges you in this infinite ocean
It forces scars on your body
It suffocates the liveliness of your sanity
Dragging daggers down your ankles
Where beads of red start pooling and dripping
Still looking for yellow but now the view is cherry and foggy.

When there’s no one there,
No one to care,
Not a soul to take you in,
Your lungs will finally drown in this fatal toxin.
They will overflow with the unspoken words from within,
They singe from the rampant flame,
And dissolve in that battle to feel the same.

But don’t you realize?
What you seek so desperately,
What every inch and fabric of your being longs for,
That vivacity that you crave to welcome from another,
Understanding you so desperately require,
Could be floating in front of your eyes.
When you dance through the raindrops on Sunday,
And hide behind what makes you gay,
When you choose to divert your eyes,
And complicate what you say,
There’s a somebody swaying in the storm beside you.
Soaking in the Sunday air,
There’s a person trying to find you,
Struggling to untwine the thoughts that catch in your hair.
They want nothing more,
Than to cut the rope that chokes your wrists,
To warm the sharpness that scratches your neck.
Their only wish is to set you free
From this outsider you appear to be.

So just listen to the words I am speaking,
For when you feel as if there is no one next to you,
When you think that nobody understands,
Because you look to your left, you glance to the right, even peer behind,
Although not a soul arrives,
Do me a favour a take a look in front of you.
Because the ones you push away
Are most often there to stay
And transform your words into undeniable beauty
After finally colouring your world yellow,
And making you forget the gray.