The biggest turmoil is often with in us
Part of me is saying get it out
The other is saying refrain
Its creating a tension in my brain
But the source of this tension
Comes from my heart
Tried everything just
cant get rid of this stain
even purged every remnant of you
from my surroundings
hoping to cut you out
allowing the pain to drain
I should have walked more slowly
Kept you on the other side of the widow pane
Instead I opened it and allowed you in
I thought I was ready for this journey
And allowed you to take me to the train
I should have realized the engine exhaust
Was nothing more than smoke and mirrors
There wasn’t even a car, no caboose
We were going nowhere.
I Ignored the omen of the rain
I thought somehow I could sustain
This illusion that you created
Make it mine
If I could just hold yours in my hand
Watching it beat
I thought your love
I might obtain
But the road before us rough
And uneven was the terrain
I blamed myself for not holding yours more tightly
I watched it stop as it hit the ground and
then faded into the distance
Thought sorrow flowing through crevices
Reaching for what I thought would make my life better
all in vain
And although I still suffer from all that
was and was not
I have com to learn I
You cant loose what you don’t have
There’s nothing to regain
So I will put my tears in a box and lock it tightly
Secured by a chain
These memories are not allowed to hurt me
Something cannot die that was not
And was not were you and I