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Can You Understand?

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  • Can You Understand?

    I am human, undefined in my actions, inchoate in my words, and often misunderstood.
    Aimlessly struggling to find my place in a society that claims my best still isn't good.
    Trying to claw my way out of this abyss I'm in, still putting forth my best.
    But no matter what I do my goals are like the dreaded red laser that the cat could never catch.

    I unconsciously hurt those around me, even though it's my intention to make them proud.
    Wanting to constantly show them my light, but all I emit is a dark cloud.
    Attempting to stand tall with my head held high, putting up a facade painfully.
    Knowing that my inanimate shadow probably stands prouder than me.

    Sometime I feel as if my life is a failure ridden kingdom I've inherited, and I'm the jinxed Czar.
    Maybe I'm destined to fail before I succeed, a loophole that obstructs this fault in my stars..........If I believed in stars.

    Many a times solitude has been my companion for the feelings of not being worthy has creeped upon me like plague.
    Many a times I've created a salty river, only to be dried and recreated another day.
    And as each day passes, I feel the more of a burden on others I become.
    This feeling of self hate, knowing about it, am I the only one?

    This feeling that I'm drowned in, this feeling of self loathing pain I feel constantly.
    Being an oblivious human, how could you possibly understand me?

    But at the same time, some humans can relate to how I feel.
    And the advice they give to me is after time, all painful wounds heal.
    So I'll wait out the pain, until a new feeling of self-understanding comes around.
    After all, when a seed is shoved in the dirt, a great oak emerges from the ground.