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Justified Suicide ?

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  • Justified Suicide ?

    Justified Suicide.

    She tried to jump off
    Superior bridge
    tilting forward
    into the thin air
    and she would have
    fallen to her death
    if I hadn't stopped her there
    I started to speak,
    but I'd barely said, "Why?"
    when she turned,
    and spoke sadly to me
    "Mister I'm tired
    of living my life
    in a world full
    of sheer misery."
    I've got family I'd miss.....
    but they've nothing to eat,
    unemployment is high,
    and I've worn out my feet
    the rent's overdue,
    soon we'll be on the street
    I kept trying to fight,
    finding only defeat
    the newspapers tell me
    that things will get worse
    it seems the whole world's
    living under a curse
    what with nuclear stockpiles
    destruction that's planned
    and pollution that slowly
    is poisoning the land
    so much murder and rape.
    and we all live in fear
    and the laws only help
    to get criminals clear
    there is nothing to hope for
    in this coming year
    so I felt it was high time
    to step out if here!"

    the things that she'd said
    were not strangers to me
    my life too, it knew
    constant bad weather
    so I reached over gently
    and took up her hand
    then she and I
    jumped off together!

    Matthew F. Blowers III

  • #2
    So I'm not trying to be rude or anything when I say this but it kind of sounds like you are like yay happy suicide when really suicide is not something that should be expressed through a happy Romeo and Juliet ending in your poem about two people who seemingly do not know each other and since I have been in a position like this with one of my closest friends almost committing suicide and I can promise you that it is not a fun thing. I'm sorry for this rant. It probably sounds like I'm a total jerk but this poem just kinda hurt a bit to read. If you read some of my poems you can see how suicide really feels. I just think this might be a way to slightly improve your poem.



    • #3
      Hey Bctro, it's fiction. it's a story like so many others about the follies of life. it's in am O.henry style of writing with a surprise ending. Am I happy about suicide, I think not, i once stood on a high span of a bridge and considered jumping but the amount of cars that stopped and asked me if I needed a ride,
      it I was O.K. and even one old lady who offered me a chocolate choip cookie, made me rethink the insanity of jumping. I too have lost friends to suicide. but I am a writer, and my muse is a slavemaster. regardless I am simply telling a fictitious story, if it moves other souls to think about it's consequences then i have succeeded. i have written many anti-suicide poems and in the end they outweigh the few that are a form of satire. No one alive really knows how suicide feels.....they don't come back. but I apprecaite your comments and I am sorry for any past pains you may have felt, and for any friends you may have lost as well. Good luck in the contest.~~Matt


      • Bcfro
        Bcfro commented
        Editing a comment
        Thank you. I am sorry for my comment. I'm glad that I read your poem because it brought back some memories. And as you said- the whole just of poetry is to find compassion.

    • #4