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Time for me to leave. Bad decisions, worse mistakes. It all led me to this dark place.
No longer having a purpose has erased the layers of happiness and my friends so now all that remains is a blank surface.
The layers of laughter and fun, friends and my kin that protected the black and nasty thoughts and actions I buried deep from within with keyless locks to protect me and my heart from letting anyone back in.
All that remains is a cold heart that nobody dares to try and touch; it became colder than ice, without life like it's hypothermic, & scarier to touch than diseased hypodermic needles and blood.
I created my world now I must pay for thy own sins. I pushed away family and best friends, and yes I let my addiction win. My last words to you that's right in the situation and seat I was in; imagine knocking on your best friends door, but even though you've locked eyes he doesn't let you in. Then after 20 calls you still get sent straight to voicemail over and over again.
For that I don't and won't ever place any blame on them. I'm too happy to see their family's growing even if I'm just on the outside looking in.