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Stand Under

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  • Stand Under

    I keep trying to stand under
    The confusing volley of cries
    From this baffling baby we created
    As I plead with her with my eyes.

    I keep trying to stand under
    This weight of being a nurse
    It grows as I comfort a mother
    Whose cancer has cruelly grown worse.

    I keep trying to stand under
    My ever-changing role as his wife
    This mouth, despite effort, oft untamed
    Leaves blisters and cuts like a knife.


    I kept trying to stand under
    Getting "adult daughter" right
    The fear of two parents aging
    Keeps me laying awake at night.

    I keep trying to stand under
    Being the youngest sister of two
    She pushes me out when I shirk underneath
    Saying, "My shadow was not made for you."


    I keep trying to stand under
    This dwindling checking account
    Monthly bills distort my focus
    Wasting too many minutes to count.

    I keep trying to stand under
    Owning a dog now on year nine,
    For five of those we were without husband and child,
    Now you look at me longingly from last in line.


    I keep trying to stand under
    This need to "look good" in the buff,
    The scale drowns out my heart crying out
    Beating wildly yelling, "I am enough!"


    I keep trying to stand under
    My faith failing what I say and do
    I fear the day Jesus might look down and say,
    "You don't get why I died for you."

    How lovely just to step out from under,
    Let go of cracks I struggle to mend.
    Instead gifting myself sweet grace as I go,
    Perhaps then I would finally
    Understand.



    Cynthia Herron
    Fort Worth, Texas

    Last edited by Cindy Herron; 01-07-2015, 09:35 AM.
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