a rondeau

My father’s fear was that I might
in his bitter loathings take delight.
Life was clutched, conform to command,
my mind inflicted, his demands.
My rights relinquished, his rules right,
echo his will, subdue my sight,
outward comply but inward fight,
erect a fortress to withstand
my father’s fear.

Crack his power, unfrock his fright,
know myself, in or out of spite.
He could not, would not understand
deep, dark, inside, I wear the brand,
my father’s child, though I am quite
my father’s fear.