fail

[victor]

i am sorry
that i failed you so bad
i let you slip
out of my clumsy hands
you won't forgive me now
you have no plans
to understand
or make up and be friends

your life
is just a distant rumor now
a dinner conversation
like the wars
the news of battles
fought and lost somehow
in winces, blinked back tears,
and trails of scars

i'm sorry that i slipped
and broke your nail
mistook the grip of adolescent love
for teenage sloth
- you didn't think to tell me
or - i didn't hear
the nature of your call
- i wish that you had tried again -
instead of this
- it feels like revenge
or even worse,
detached indifference

again i'm sorry -
but the time is gone
i can't undo it now -
it is the cross i bear.
you are my daughter and my son
my pride my shame
my failure and my loss

i hear that you got married
to someone you met
in lithuania in school
in yiddish classes
that you took for fun
and now you're studying
to be a jew

i thought that you
would be
not take a wife
i thought you were a girl
but i was wrong
i'm proud to say
you are my son
with rife apologies
to make and pass along

i find it strange
to think my christian girl
has grown into a jewish man -
it's weird to see
you shave your head
and not to curl your hair.
it's strange
to see you grow a beard

i hope you know
whatever you become
i love you and
you're always welcome here
i'll always be
where you are coming from
however far you go
i'll meet you there

[AlexandratheLate]

You really described the love of a parent no matter what your child chooses in life. Beautifully said.

[victor]

thank you, i blush

[RhymeLovingWriter]

Quite a journey you penned here, dear poet. I agree with AtL...parental love sustained in heart-felt verse! I think that keeping doors open is one of the greatest gifts we give to our children. Blessings!