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making fun of you better than you me

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  • making fun of you better than you me

    thought we hated each
    other but i could never tell
    left and kept something
    after all of the time gone
    waited for myself to stay
    turned into an enemy
    thought that love is best
    not kept locked in a chest
    and the best reality real
    not a section for revenge
    not mine at all -- i dont believe
    at all the judgments on me
    don't believe my own for them
    recluse like this and spoiled
    midnight sugars and mercy
    bloodless needle lights
    something about my death
    for weeks the prattle sinks
    I can't imagine how long now
    and the way it goes,
    erased, deleted, what's worse?
    i fight til the end just because
    and you end up
    winning just because?
    i wait until my insanity subsides,
    they painted me
    much more than i was,
    a dagger to point without sides

    something not violent or dangerous
    prayer stuck to the walls
    in here where the laughing was
    and the naked truth
    and the way I fell in love
    and the seconds slowly passed
    couldn't help myself
    fell out of love within days
    and then
    something touched my leg
    and i felt its warm healing
    i still do love, myself and more
    i couldn't account
    couldn't add it all up
    wasn't resigned until i was wrong
    bitterness doesn't do anything
    painful that every face
    o im sure the ones who look down
    deserve to rub it in
    painful that every look
    is bowing down to whats wrong
    rapes and murders
    the world is full of blood
    rapes and these children
    the FBI list in my head
    how many crimes commited
    the voices are the cops now
    O be safe and remember love,
    I wanted to escape as well
    never bad enough to make a point
    my case is just sitting there
    and shuffled by the wind
    then it's like I haven't broken my law
    but somehow
    it's worse because
    the sense of disappointment
    when i try to give.

    the way you neuter me and
    everyone else
    with excuses
    because i bribed you
    with a
    perfectly clean slate

    caught in a lie again
    why was I lying?

    i'm such a big guy again,
    they're beating up my dreams.

    threatening me
    and full of what is that,

    love to hit me like
    i got rid of them before?
    make you think
    instead of me.
    win by dominance,
    but force does nothing.
    writing my poems for me,
    child's play,
    stand before someone else
    and don't think "I am"

    the same mistakes I'm using
    to live a life
    I kept on proving
    was not enough
    I knew I was hurting for you
    hurting you too
    Holy Spirit would not forgive me
    stupid bull and poetry.



    love because
    i mean something.

    don't cry, my son,
    when i am gone.



    --
    ‚Äč
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