To dance on someone’s grave

[We Sound as One]

Hi folks,

I’m developing a lyric for a song and would like to have some help, feedback, ideas…
The lyric is about war… Plenty of words that I'm not happy that can be changed.
Kind of epic style song with a strong beat.
The pace/metric of the lyric is tied with the song but can be adjusted if the singer doesn’t bring it to life 😊
To make easier to understand the mood of the lyrics/song I attached the demo in the link bellow. (It's just a demo)
Lyrics starts at 27’’ and there’s a violin doing a basic guide for the vocal line.
Ah, yes, I used a Beethoven sonata to make it.
Thanks heaps.

Link for the song:

https://soundcloud.com/we-sound-as-o...d297c58812e&ut m_source=clipboard&utm_medium=text&utm_campaign=so cial_sharing


To dance on someone’s grave - Lyrics:

Verse 1: 00: 27’’
My world
My land
My ocean and my sand
My forest
Would die in your hands
My truth
My zest
My glory from the past
God bless
We will fight your army
till last

Chorus 1: 00:59’’
Your pride
My reign
Your war
In vain
Your power
My strain
My people
Your pain

Verse 2: 1:17’’
True culture
Pure faith
Will clash with your hate
Your greediness
Will bring you disgrace
My freedom
My state
No one can replace
You’ll see
History
Will bring to your knees

Chorus 2: 1:48’’
Your pride
My reign
Your war
In vain
Your power
My strain
My people
Your pain
My heart
Your blade
My soul
Your raid
My blood
Your fight
Won’t fade
My light

End: 2:23’’
In the blood-soaked field
I could see it from my shield
The devil can be real

In the darkness you can pray
To survive another day
Or to dance on someone’s grave

[Sureme]

Hi there, definitely epic style and vocals I'm hearing operatic can you post your lyrics on soundcloud would be easier to have it all on one site if you know what I mean, at the moment for me your lyrics seem to be all ''my'' ''your'' have you any vocal recording on this I always find listening back on recording can be a great help on putting a song together, no doubt about it you have something really good here

[We Sound as One]

Hi Sureme, I just put the lyrics on SoundCloud.
I know where the vocals goes (basically following the violin) but I'm a horrible singer and would like to send the lyrics ready for whoever will sing, yes, you are right, maybe operatic style.
For sure don't like the repetition of the you and my too, but as the idea was short lines it was an option but again it can be replaced.
I'm considering even create a different vocal melody then all the lyrics would be adjusted if this version don't turn out good.
Thank you very much.

[Sureme]

Okay first few lines what I'm hearing is
My world my land my ocean my sand
My forest
Dying In your hands

[Sureme]

Have an idea maybe roots like bones coming alive then hit those drums