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The devil, angels and me

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  • The devil, angels and me

    The devil, angels and me

    The devil you are
    Leading me to write
    Leading me to wrong
    Sucking me in
    Tug of war
    Pull against sin
    Eyes of sunrise
    Droplets of salt water
    Dew of our skin
    Grace of a mare
    Lips you share
    Sheets strewn about
    Hands in my hair
    Your tongue
    Mutters out
    In the end
    Bitter goodbye
    Sometimes asleep
    A letter penned
    Always a sigh
    Mostly the key
    The devil you are
    Through the night
    Slain in the morning
    Angels and me

    Rds
    The second
    ‚Äč

  • #2
    Succinctly battled, TS - beautiful versing, as always.

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    • The second
      The second commented
      Editing a comment
      thanks with much appreciation rlw

  • #3
    Sometimes I think without reality we would never had left the caves, nicely put but that last line I think should be ''The devil, angels and me''
    Last edited by Sureme; 11-18-2022, 06:32 PM.

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    • The second
      The second commented
      Editing a comment
      my dear friend, I Enjoy living in my cave. I post my writings ,work, art, what ever you may call it or them without editorial. I respect all the creators here in the zone. I have never suggested any other writer of editing their work unless asked upon, even then, I am not their author. so please don't be mine

  • #4
    Hi, I was talking about caves early humans and their curiosity to learned from the reality of their own existence long before devils angels and gods were written about, but that's not what you're on about so I have to ask does the reader here not have an opinion on what they read I mean it's not that we are in a shop to buy, as I said, nicely put but that last line I still think should be ''The devil, angels and me'' again nicely put

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    • #5
      you absolutely have an opinion but not an editorial one unless asked. This is not a work shop. This is a gift of technology. expression to the masses. Please don't come here wanting to change lines. Express your likes, Express your work, express your opinions about yourself but don't come here and tell me what I should have written. I apologize for being brash but in this day and age
      you need to be told what needs to be told. Droplets of rain appear as liquid crystal in summer but in winter they fall as diamonds non like the other

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      • #6
        (don't come here and tell me what I should have written) I never did that what I'm saying is (nicely put but that last line I think should be ''The devil, angels and me'')

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        • #7
          very lovely verse.
          one of the best i've read on this board

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