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A Cornish Saga

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  • A Cornish Saga

    A Cornish Saga I should explain
    Before the false premise does sustain
    Ladies you are way off the mark
    Imagining another Poldark
    There is no tanned bare chested Captain
    So have a cold shower and start again.

    This story about a staycation
    A coach trip stays within our nation
    Eric and Elsie climbed on board
    A holiday that they could afford.
    To the land of the Cornish Pasty
    A local treat crimped and so tasty

    Holiday for those of senior age
    With senior moments they will engage
    Jam on scones then clotted cream on top
    Morally wrong if Jam last to drop
    Should we say scone(sc-own) or maybe scone (sc-on)
    Offend the Cornish, say it wrong

    Eric and Elsie on an excursion
    Garden of Eden Cornish Version
    On the coach they would visit the glory
    To the former site of a quarry
    They were both smitten by the bi-omes
    This was a garden, where are the gnomes?

    In the land of wreckers and smugglers
    Worse for wear after they became strugglers
    Unable to walk straight after brewery tour
    Eric decided to have just one pint more
    Saw the process from hops to a cask
    Any questions. Wheres the loo? He did ask

    Watched the Cornish Pirates saw the scrum
    But no walking the plank or drinking rum
    They are a fearsome sight as they charge
    They are game for a try and so large
    Took a picture though and asked they say cheese
    Roar of Yarg left Eric weak at his knees

    That night with fellow tourist Mabel
    Out they went for next part of the fable.
    Fisherman’s Friends sing Haul away Joe
    No proper job but they sing with gusto
    Harmonies brought by voices of Port Isaac
    Singing with beer on board is a great craic

    Eric he had his own party trick
    Used sleight of hands that moved so quick
    Mabel looked down at her glass of gin
    Screamed with surprise false teeth within
    Screamed again Erics smile gummy
    Party piece almost turned her tummy

    Elsie decided to visit the bakers
    G7 theme pasties left as no takers
    Unable to get lips round Biden Big-un
    She chose instead a Boris stilton
    G7 theme with stilton was steak
    Had to use oven Boris half baked

    One ping, holiday ends prematurely
    Ping after ping ap sings out so surely
    Can’t wait for Dreckly, would be too late
    From staycation go to isolate
    Eric and Elsie ambushed by Covid
    Cornish saga ends but not quite Ovid
    Last edited by Parkinsonspoet; 08-02-2021, 10:09 AM.

  • #2
    I'm sure I missed some references due to my lack of international familiarity...but this reads like one wild ride!


    • #3
      RhymeLovingWriter I feel it is only fair if I explain this one. Poldark is a series of about 13 historical novels set in Cornwall by Winston Graham. It has twice been successfully adaapted for television. Captain Ross Poldark from the latest version has quite a large female following. My Mum has been unable to go out and buy her own books during the pandemic. Whilst getting her books I noticed a lot using "A Cornish Saga. If you enjoyed Poldark you will enjoy this." This was the source of the poem.

      Saga is a well known (over here) holiday provider for people over 50. In the UK travel abroad badly hit by travel restrictions abroad has made the "staycation" vacation in UK more popular this year. Cornwall is a hugely popular tourist destination. Cornwall is known for pasties and cream teas. There is good natured debate on how to pronounce "scones" and whether jam goes on top of the clotted cream or vice versa.

      Historically known for smuggling and wrecking(luring ships onto rocks) there are local beers Smugglers Ale and Wreckers. Cornish Pirates are a rugby team. Yarg is a Cornish cheese. There is a tradition of Shanty singing in some pubs and the Fishermans Friends are a successful shanty singing group. . "Proper job" Cornish slang for well done but also another beer.
      The G7 came to Cornwall in June and one baker marketed a pasty for each of the pollitical leaders.
      Dreckly is a slang term for doing things later. Pings refer to receiving a message via a mobile phone app that you have had possible contact with Covid and need to isolate