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  • Recovery

    life so pure and full of joy
    everything so good must be a ploy
    try not to trust the warmth and peace
    as all the wars slowly cease
    the love and joy i start to trust
    start to work off all the rust
    so what if there was pain
    sitting all alone in the rain
    wallowing in pity wont help
    get out be happy for there sake don't yelp
    there is plenty to love and see
    and she can always walk with me
    the love and joy forever now
    knowing there is love but how
    to trust to feel and care again
    to forget about the pain
    after time you learn to be happy
    love melts the ice all tho it is sappy
    being able to swim to take a breath
    and leave the longing for death
    to feel the warmth and care again
    gives you no reason to complain
    to feel happy and glad that love is close
    to be warm and loved as if I'm no longer froze
    now that love is what i feel
    i can truly find the room to heal

    By: DepressedPoet

  • #2
    Please let me know how to improve... I mean that is kind of why I joined the forum not gunna lie.


    • #3
      You're already doing the best thing to improve...writing often.

      Then, continue to read and experiment with poetry forms. The forum used to be more active in this respect...seemed like someone was always putting out a form I didn't know that would catch my attention so I could try it myself. It might pay to look back through old posts for inspiration if you want to try that.

      My experience on this forum has been that people comment more about what moves them about a piece of work, rather than give it a critique. There are other sites out there specifically designed for that.

      Or, like me, they are still learning and feel less than qualified to make critique-type comments. Asking for feedback, like you have, is a great start.


      • DepressingPoem
        DepressingPoem commented
        Editing a comment
        Thank you! I'll look for one but I'll still be on the forum. UwU

    • #4
      One of the things you can think about is how you want your poem to look on the page. Sometimes it helps to break it down into verses it
      makes it look less dense. Centre spacing can be aestheticly pleasing. Puntuation can be good sometimes a comma if the right place can add a pause and give the words more space. Little things can all make a difference


      • DepressingPoem
        DepressingPoem commented
        Editing a comment
        Hadn't thought about it Thanks