Trying to be happy

Life its self is now so dull
yet pain still throbs throughout my skull
wishing I could stop it all
the pain the hurt and never fall
maybe the pain is not so bad
I could get used to being sad
every time i used to try to take a breath
I was dreaded under wishing for death
i got lucky and am free
but do i try to leave the sea
the place so cold yet so safe
if i go up will there be strafe
wishing i could stay here
in this place now void of fear
but if I don't come up for air
i will be swallowed by my despair
slowly i swim into a rock
climb it and my heart is now blocked
and i continue to the top
i start to fear so then I stop
wondering who will push me off
i stand there cold now with a cough
i see my friends at the top
can I keep climbing non stop
hopeing i can make the climb
they tell me just one more step
and i end up with a misstep
falling into the void yet again
yet only one thing goes though my brain
they better of without me there
but in disbelief they are here without a prayer
carry me back to the rock
say its my climb to take I'm on the clock
i am not here still climbing
with hope and fear of what I'll find
so many thoughts still cross my mind

By: DepressedPoet

trying to be happy is so damn hard

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