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Possibly Joan d'Arc

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  • AlexandratheLate
    replied
    This was interesting to read. Nice job poet.

    Leave a comment:


  • Zillah
    replied
    Updated & Edited. Rattled the grammar and swapped lines like car-parts.

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  • RhymeLovingWriter
    replied
    She's the most recent nominee being interviewed for the vacancy left on the US Supreme Court after Justice Ginsberg passed away.

    Nicely done!

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  • Zillah
    replied
    Hello, RhymeLovingWriter , I did miss the "be" in Stanza 2, thanks for mentioning it . Also, I don't know who Amy Barrett is. Either way I wrote the poem a few months back.
    Last edited by Zillah; 10-17-2020, 11:18 PM.

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  • RhymeLovingWriter
    replied
    Hi, Zillah , a belated welcome to the Zone.

    I'm not sure I get all references inferred, but can really appreciate the driving motion created by your phrasing and word choices. The repetition of first word in each line (barring the final line) of each stanza, creates a definite beat in my head as I read.

    Question: S2, second to last line, seems like there is a word missing between "you'll" and "trapped"...perhaps "be"? Just checking.

    I'm probably way off, but the thought occurred to me this might be written about Amy Coney Barrett? Perhaps the confirmation hearings played heavy on my mind this past week.

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  • BobGrantKC
    replied
    It serves you and us well.

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  • Zillah
    replied
    Originally posted by BobGrantKC View Post
    Welcome to the Forum - a pleasure to have you here!
    Thanks! Glad to be here. What do you think of my poem?

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  • BobGrantKC
    replied
    Welcome to the Forum - a pleasure to have you here!

    Leave a comment:


  • Zillah
    started a topic Possibly Joan d'Arc

    Possibly Joan d'Arc

    When the moon grows thin
    And the shadows cast a grin
    Upon the cherry-red floors
    And the frowning leaves drop their chin
    Like how a amputee plays the violin
    There'll be you cornered in the dark
    And you'll be with the fleeting mad monarch
    Living like Joan of Arc

    When the light withers away
    And Dean Martin has no legs to sway
    Upon the beach with no waves
    And the swimsuits run and they play
    Like how they scream for the escapade
    There'll be no one (there) to light a spark
    And you'll be trapped once again without your heart
    Burning like Joan of Arc

    When the trial hasn't begun
    And before the holymen are unrightfully hung
    Upon the cold wrath of your enemies stake
    And all the magic metal men whisper run
    Like how they pray to you the brightest burning sun
    There'll be millions bare as bark
    And you know god's grace leaves its marks
    Digging like Joan of Arc

    When you don't know how to feel
    And the army's starving it begins to kneel
    Upon the gates of heaven below the shores of hell
    And the way to win is concealed
    Like Salvadore painting the surreal
    There'll be on Noah's ark
    And they don't know how to swim they're surrounded by sharks
    Swimming with Joan of Arc

    When the sunsets upon the shore
    And the frowning trees tally the score
    Upon the bloodstains of their Earth
    And the soldiers froth with war
    Like glass houses made of stone doors
    There'll be one ship sailing, the Bismarck
    And all they say ends with a quiet question mark
    Reading like Joan of Arc

    When no one has any grit
    And they fight with words without any wit
    Upon the graves of their own lies
    And they've lost their souls their spit
    Like the Houdini-disguised hypocrites
    There'll be the ones who sing like larks
    And they'll have dead faces that stare so stark
    Hating her 'cause she's Joan of Arc
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Jonas Brothers
    Last edited by Zillah; 08-03-2022, 07:31 PM.
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