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This Offer Never Ends

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  • This Offer Never Ends

    This was first posted in 2019 , thought I'd post it again , Happy 4th of JUlt everyone , Hip hip Hooray !

    This Offer Never Ends ( c ) Glen Mitton 2019

    Does the sight of the American flag make you gag ?
    When you hear Our National Anthem do you spasm ?
    Do you have a grievance with the Pledge of Allegiance ?
    Well Wait No More ! , Because There's the Door " !

    That's right folks ! , You Can Leave the Country and be
    " Crunchy " SOMEWHERE ELSE!
    No need to be melancholy " Pack Your bags Kemosabe " !
    This offer never ends ," Your Absence is Our Dividend " !

    Exit right now to a country of your choice !
    The sooner the better and we ( ahem ) YOU get to rejoice !
    If you salivate in hate there's no debate
    Do Us a Favor Neighbor , LEAVE !

    Your disdain is obviously growing
    Get that meatball rolling , " MAMMA MIA " !
    You think this country blows , THEN GO !!
    No need to bicker or reconsider !

    Renounce your citizenship here or abroad
    Receive a standing ovation from everyone involved
    Our government is standing by
    " We'll even help you cross the t's and dot the i's "

    " That's crazy folks " , " Yeah crazy like a fox " !
    " Don't forget to check that box "
    There's no Populace Deficit Ceiling !
    " Go with Your Feelings "!

    " BUT WAIT ! Hit the Brakes " ( SCREECH ) !

    If you act right now in the next 30 seconds
    It gives MORE TIME for more dissidents !
    Don't worry about the case load grinder
    We just add more pages to the binder ! ( Snap ! )

    Don't know where to start ?
    Just close your eyes and throw a dart
    Where it lands you can make a start
    We know you have it in your heart , " BULLSEYE " !

    So If you're Disgruntled and Befuddled
    Take a hike , and " POP " that bubble
    Here and now the gates are open
    Your validated ! , there's no tokens

    Don't let this opportunity slip !
    " It's just a myth that you'll be missed " !
    So Vamoose ! , you " Gander-less Goose " !
    Don't let the door knob hit you in the caboose !

    This offer is open to anyone who hates this country and is unwilling to
    become a productive member of THIS society
    This also includes the following , Slackers , Hackers , Carjackers , Bushwhackers ,
    Hijackers , Ransackers , “ okay I’ll stop “!
    Please act now before population quotas change , “ Dear God No “ !
    Need help , contact the U.S. embassy or Consulate of the country you are in ,
    appear in person before a U.S. consular or diplomatic officer, and sign an oath of renunciation

    Word !