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A Birthday renaissance

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  • A Birthday renaissance

    I wrote this for a friend that has a birthday within a couple days. Let me know what you guys think.

    A birthday renaissance
    They call it a day of nativity
    You call it a day of captivity
    Captivated by your own darkness
    In your own world of emptiness

    Today, let the sun shines through
    Shedding its light to your temple
    Illuminating your life’s candle
    Burning away your solemn days,
    Somber nights and sunken dreams

    Heart might be dripping in sorrow
    But it shall be until tomorrow
    Shall I sing you birthday greetings?
    For I am no singer

    From afar I can hear the nightingales chants
    Serenading your life’s mantra that enchants
    Let it be your anniversary song to your ears
    Resonating joy, strength and happiness
    Through your earthly years
    Where melancholy shall be nevermore

    Last edited by jede; 06-30-2019, 04:10 PM.

  • #2
    Very well done! I had to re-read this poem a few times to catch its inner beauty. Lines that confuse, but ultimately become explained. Beautiful, is the least I could say.

    Comment


    • jede
      jede commented
      Editing a comment
      Hey thank you for your feedback! I appreciate it

  • #3
    I think a gift of self...like this writing from your heart to his/hers...is a most beautiful gift!
    Last edited by RhymeLovingWriter; 07-13-2019, 10:29 PM.

    Comment


    • jede
      jede commented
      Editing a comment
      Hey RLW, thank you very much for dropping by. I appreciate the comment. That was the only gift i could give to a dear friend of mine.

  • #4
    Jede - Age!.....it's the only disease you don't look forward to being "cured" of and every birthday lets you know how "uncured" you really are. Thanks for sharing jede. Namyh
    Last edited by Namyh; 07-11-2019, 03:38 PM.

    Comment


    • jede
      jede commented
      Editing a comment
      Thanks for stopping by Namyh. Much appreciated!

  • #5
    Your poem is good. Really interested to read.very attractive and relastic.keep writing such poems. I wish you all the best. Please visit the poem
    Last edited by RhymeLovingWriter; 07-13-2019, 10:29 PM.

    Comment


    • jede
      jede commented
      Editing a comment
      Thanks for your feedback.
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