Hey guys,

New user working on a new music album. As English isn't my mother tongue I'm always happy to receive constructive feedback. Here's a verse and chorus of a song I recently wrote:

Chorus:

I'm just sharing my thoughts again
Hoping someone will understand
That we're in this together hey
So let's make it a better place

Forget the borders that cut us off
The world is home to each one of us
And we're in this together hey
So let's make it a better place


Verse 1:

Last night, I saw this beam of light
As, I was caught in a dream of mine
On what I thought, was just another sleepless night
But, as I sealed my eyes shut, I was struck

With a self-esteem so high
The beam brought me back to a peaceful time
With a mind being packed with extreme delight
I could see, yet I was completely blind

It was nice I was wrapped in a piece of life
Where a day felt longer than a week and I
Embraced every thing free from fright
Cuz as a child... everything just seemed alright

I find, it's crazy, how perspectives change
Now I'm riding on the pain from my skeptic waves
And I'm trying to escape from these hectic days
Plus I'm fighting to protect my receptive brain

Yeah I'm guarding it, cuz it's bombarded with
News articles telling me how dark it is
'Bout starving kids, about the trash in the ocean
Our plastic explosion that's harming it

And... that's just the start of it
In the midst of all this global warming sits
It's... kinda hard to grip
But the hardest bit, is how my heart is ripped

Cuz in my heart, I know that I'm a part of it
And it shows in my notes in the bars I spit
And it shows in my acts how I'm hurting when
I said I wouldn't but I snapped at my girl again

... I love her, and that love's immense
But love as a term isn't worth a cent
When affection's being shown with reversed events
And... way too often my words offend

I'm venting my burden at her expense
A perfectionist without a perfect sense
The greatest gift, this world could send
To her though is the birth of two amazing kids

So I'ma make that wish come true and nurture them
.... Play with bricks, be their perfect friend
Though, with all that's going on I'm a nervous blend
I'm, so concerned of when this world will end

Kids are giving me these feelings that I'm turned against
Like, they aren't even born and I've murdered them
Shit... I got to turn the trend
This, makes me determined to work the pen

And, stop, being irresponsible
I'm not, just gonna watch as it get worse for them
I've been running 'round in circles on this obstacle
...It's illogical, I got to burn the fence

No one person can be optimal
But I got to believe this is solvable
Cuz as much as we can be destructible
As people, we can also be phenomenal


Chorus:

I'm just sharing my thoughts again
Hoping someone will understand
That we're in this together hey
So let's make it a better place

Forget the borders that cut us off
The world is home to each one of us
And we're in this together hey
So let's make it a better place