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  • Heaven

    How far can this road take me
    How far does it go
    Unless I take the risk
    I might never know

    What lies beyond the border
    Of hate and hopeless lies
    I might never know
    Unless I look fear in the eyes

    What sort of things live
    Beyond the gates of life
    Is it better with hope
    Or is it worse with strife

    For in this horrid life
    I still do not remiss
    But I can't seem to find it
    That place of happiness and bliss

  • #2
    Familiar, I know the feeling of "cut off", and this little poem was nice. I was taken by the phrase "gates of life" especially, and the line "Unless I look fear in the eyes" because it's so very true, and afterwards indeed there will be no fear but only You! Beyond the border, in your words that 'gate of life' which seems so far away. Again, I think you ask good questions, and have explored your feelings in a mood that's sentimental... I would always caution against using the plain phrasing as the lines "Is it better with hope//Or is it worse with strife"-- I think it's obvious we enjoy Hope more, you know, and issues arise because we seem to 'lose' it... like you said. Those two lines weren't the strongest of your poem, in my opinion.
    Thanks for sharing with us and I am glad you choose to write.


    • #3
      Hello PotterHead22807 . I've been an infrequent contributor these past few months but wanted to say "welcome to the zone" and thanks for sharing the struggle of seeking heaven on earth through your poetic rhymes.