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  • Scream

    SCREAM

    Out in my street
    A little girl screams like a bottle rocket
    Her mother screams at her like a PSYCHO CU*T
    I just want to leave the city screaming
    Forgive me this night and forever
    I’m just being blunt

    RDS
    THE SECOND

  • #2
    Hey there, the second. Your unconventional (to me) use of linebreaks/pauses, it makes me see this as somehow innovative. While remaining a bit, raw, is it? I like that edge... the analogy of the girl and bottle rocket really works. That image pegs this one on the map, to my eyes.

    I personally do not use cuss words in my poetry, but I also tend to write from a "bygone" place, or rather not contemporary. Not usually anyway. Just comparing some of our mutual styles. Those things I just mentioned different between us, and our poetry, I think you have going on for you.

    This is just great, not too cerebral; but experiential, allowed to be as it is shining. The bluntness is good, and thanks for sharin.

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