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    Death is a wanton guest of mine
    A frequent acquaintance for years
    Whispering in my ear at times
    Bound to the weight of my fears


    We push and we wrangle each day
    As I stand my ground for a fight
    Eyes brimming again as I pray
    To see the end of this night


    Time and again I play this game
    With the hope I can play again
    And every day it feels the same
    It’s no longer if but when


    Yet…

    Life is a cherished friend of mine
    We hold hands as if we are one
    Making the most while marking time
    Living for dreams yet to come


    Each morning I rise with the sun
    And build hopes of the day to be
    Resolute by the battles won
    And treasures I’ve yet to see


    Simple things are brought to the fore
    A soft laugh, the breeze or a kiss
    Taking time and squeezing some more
    Too many moments to miss


    Bitter sweet when days are numbered
    Not knowing which one is the last
    My life is not one encumbered
    My present now lies in my past
    Last edited by tmetel; 12-01-2018, 11:49 PM.

  • #2
    I liked the contrapuntal nature of the piece
    and I'm hardly the one to remark this
    as a lot of my lines come
    with syllable counts
    that vary but:-
    The stanzas go
    a 8,8,8,7
    b 8,8,8,7
    c 8,8,8,9

    d 8,8,8,7
    e 8,8,8,7
    f 8,8,8,7
    g 8,8,9,8

    If you'll pardon my crude carpentry (though others on this site would be able for better yet again)
    they might easily be regularized to 8 syllable lines and lose one repeat each of "again" and "as," thus:-

    Death is a wanton guest of mine
    A frequent acquaintance for years
    Whispering in my ear at times,
    anchored by the weight of my fears

    We push and we wrangle each day
    As I stand my ground for a fight
    Eyes brimming again while I pray
    Through the long watch hours of the night

    Time and again I play this game
    With the hope I can remain
    And every day it feels the same,
    no longer the if but the when

    Yet…

    Life is a cherished friend of mine
    holding hands as if we were one
    Making the most while marking time
    Alive to the dreams yet to come

    Each morning I rise with the dawn
    And build hopes of the day to be
    Resolute by the battles won
    And treasures that I’ve yet to see

    Simple things are brought to the fore
    A soft laugh, the breeze or a kiss
    Taking time and squeezing some more
    there's too many moments to miss

    Bitter sweet when days are numbered
    Not knowing which one is the last
    Of promise I'm not encumbered
    My present now lies in my past

    Comment


    • tmetel
      tmetel commented
      Editing a comment
      Wow! Thank you, That's a whole lot of effort into someone else's rhyme. Not only that but I had not seen that the last word in stanza g doesn't rhyme. I am often amused that I can write and read many times yet miss the obvious. I will take this back to the drawing board, it won't be immediate but I will correct. Again thank you.
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