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Just how you go

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  • Just how you go

    Closer to tears’ itch at the lids, closer
    to feather tread in the shards' litter,
    your faithless breath is cradle still, bent
    around the mewling tongue I am. You know
    in your croon, I, breaker of poems,
    am soon a duty done; another
    blink, and my watching plea, pure as desert,
    will shut, set loose your midnight, let you
    ply the joys my need fetters. I know,
    my love, until my bones, just how you go.





    Last edited by grant hayes; 11-20-2018, 08:17 PM.

  • #2
    Vivid with so much colour and detail. So much in a small poem. Thank you for sharing this but it makes me want more

    Comment


    • grant hayes
      grant hayes commented
      Editing a comment
      You were, in that pocket of trinket years,
      the slim dancer, drinking down the night
      of chance, the swiftest handful, hot
      for bed-set eyes, for chiselled pick of droves,
      mad for your motion. You rode
      from song to daybreak, ruled the hook and banter,
      mouth and thigh; the duchess of uptown
      brittle heights, you’d pluck the prick-star canyons
      bare of their alpha-branded light,
      you merry raptor, siren-slap to manlife.

    • grant hayes
      grant hayes commented
      Editing a comment
      It could keep going.

  • #3
    It speaks to me! Love the apostrophe usage, double whammys lol. And the idea of "sound" palpable to me- from the top of the tongue, atleast. "Breaker" of anything -- ! Awesome. And then the drop-off, the stab of reality indescribable, there, I recognize. "Duty done".
    O it speaks to me with everything.
    Cool and like a desert littered with bones itself so seeable.

    Comment


    • grant hayes
      grant hayes commented
      Editing a comment
      Your enthusiasm for this piece warms my heart, amenOra. That I can hammer out a form of words that reaches another soul so emphatically makes it all worthwhile.

  • #4
    Vintage Hayes.

    Cuts to the bone, with raw honesty!

    Comment


    • grant hayes
      grant hayes commented
      Editing a comment
      Ah, surgery cuts, Dwayne, sculpting, too, but so does butchery. I hope always to avoid the latter in my pointwork.

  • #5
    I read this a couple of times - as though someone looking at their circumstances of loving someone who is faithless, oblivious or uncaring of the damage they cause.

    Comment


    • grant hayes
      grant hayes commented
      Editing a comment
      That's a good way to look at it, Alexandra. Thank you for the reads!

  • #6
    A scatter of litter.
    Read Kitty-cat
    into that
    slit eyes
    wide
    prowl
    midnight's
    moonlight
    begone dull purr
    have pity
    begone
    with thee
    a feline lover
    the essential loner
    Last edited by Johntee; 11-22-2018, 07:15 AM.

    Comment


    • grant hayes
      grant hayes commented
      Editing a comment
      T S Eliot long ago cornered the market for cat conjuring, Johntee; I must be content with evoking merely human scatter.

      Your response is, as ever, brilliant.

  • #7
    No sophistry in this one. The use of most emphatic 'You know' - 'I know', brooks no double-speak or dance around. Scathing - in a most delicious way!

    Comment


    • grant hayes
      grant hayes commented
      Editing a comment
      Ah, a delicious scathe is tasty to only half the pair at table, Rhymist.

    • RhymeLovingWriter
      RhymeLovingWriter commented
      Editing a comment
      Too true - the wicked half.

    • RhymeLovingWriter
      RhymeLovingWriter commented
      Editing a comment
      I've thought again - perhaps the 'delicious' modifier was bandied in poor taste. Apology if such is the case.
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