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This Old Man's Rap

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  • This Old Man's Rap

    Bowel-Movement, Bowel-Movement, Bowel-Movement, Clap,
    Is the Beat for this here Rap.
    Seems my Doctors want to Know,
    So Far – So Good, Greet with “Yo!”

    Sagging skin Upon my “Grill,”
    “Punk” I’d call my Memory Still.
    Wouldn’t term my Teeth as “Def.”
    “Hella” is my Hearing Theft.

    “Bling-bling” veins Upon my Leg,
    “Tight” is what my Knuckles Beg.
    Losing hair Around my “Crib”,
    “Food Box” shows Up on my Rib.

    Age that is no longer “Cold”,
    “Buggin” are my Leaks be Told.
    “Bananas” seems My life of Late,
    “Tight” appears This heart to Date.

    Old Dogs – New Tricks who’s to Say,
    Go on Tour though Old and Gray.
    I’ll be There through Gas and Cramps,
    Give my All as “Rappin’ Gramps.”

  • #2
    Perhaps some explanation is required. A question - that I never anticipated being asked - is, "Are you having regular bowel movements?" Yet, it seems whenever I go to the doctor - this is a question that is asked of me. I actually answer it!!!! Maybe I am the only old person who gets asked this question? However, this is what came to mind when I watched an unhinged rapper on TV this week. The "Bowel Movement" beat came into my head - hope it was not too offensive? The rap terms I found in a rap dictionary. I probably used them incorrectly? But, maybe I can get a little leeway as I am old and was taking "regular" trips to the bathroom as I was composing this attempt at rap.


    • grant hayes
      grant hayes commented
      Editing a comment
      I have been asked this at times, on the unavoidable - and, thankfully infrequent - occasions when I must see a physician. It is undignified to have a body, and I will gladly lay mine down, by and by.

      The intrepid Bobambic Pentameter goes everywhere.

  • #3
    Bob - Oh! Oh!.........Now, I GOTTA Go!.........Ooh! Ooh!......see ya later and I enjoyed. Namyh


    • #4
      Thank you. I wonder about what I post sometimes; however, I have not written any Rhyme Porn yet - at least intentionally. But, there is probably an audience for it.


      • #5
        Bob, you never cease to amaze! Far from offensive, unless life is offensive. More like making lemonade. Made me smile as you usually do (do).


        • #6
          Thank you!!!


          • #7
            forget DJ grandpa 0 mc bob on the mic. most enjoyable poetry. great share.


            • #8
              Thank you.