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  • Again

    Again




    Into standing dawn I waded,

    rising timid, toeing holds uneven.

    Yesterday’s last dollar having flown,

    my belly-empty prospects little

    cheered at lifting fog. A dog

    of mongrel pedigree, observing

    with an air of last-breath languor,

    didn’t lift a leg. Dregs of

    doubt, invading bold, with black ant

    bodies barreling astride, would ever hide

    that ray, intruding near horizon-height.

    Its plight of purpose, upward tilt of

    chin, perhaps a grin for old time’s sake?

    Mistake it was to gain such stance so

    early on the day that part of me would die.

  • #2
    Alliteration
    from word to word
    transmuting sense
    progressively only to
    return early on the day
    betrays no mongrel pedigree.
    What else need be said
    Last edited by Johntee; 10-13-2018, 05:57 AM.

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    • RhymeLovingWriter
      RhymeLovingWriter commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you JT. This was a strange write for me. It built itself and I left it alone to do so.

  • #3
    Rather interesting, RLW! I feel a low start but feel a sense of, maybe not hope but yet not hopelessness, building, only to be dashed at the end. And the right justifying seems effective in the display. Nice!
    Last edited by Muttado1sb; 10-14-2018, 09:17 AM.

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    • RhymeLovingWriter
      RhymeLovingWriter commented
      Editing a comment
      Thanks Muttado1sb. The feelings do come in waves, si it's not surprising some will break. Your kind response is appreciated.

  • #4
    Gorgeous writing, Rhymist: alliteration, assonant echoes from line to line, meditative pace, immediacy ... all woven together with a solemn cadence. Wonderful.

    Comment


    • RhymeLovingWriter
      RhymeLovingWriter commented
      Editing a comment
      Thanks Grant. I'm pleased to know it came across that way.

  • #5
    Interesting! Very Interesting! The piece conjures up an emotion that hovers somewhere between hope and hopelessness. Well done RLW! Great piece!

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