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Erratic

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  • Erratic

    My thoughts are erratic. My minds in a panic. Let me tell you the truth, my anxiety is through the roof. Do i tie my heart with a noose and let my love run loose. Take the chance the rope might snag. Do i keep all my thoughts in a bag, hold them there til my brain starts to sag. To many voices trying to tell me what to do. To many choices lying in my head. My skeletons are reaching for my bed. They'll come at me til im dead

  • #2
    Hey, I noticed the 'nod' to Eminem's lyric "My thoughts are sporadic" and I see the music of the language you used. I think a lot of poetry is about the rhythm: if it flows well, it seems to come out "better".
    A brain "sagging" is a cool and interesting idea.
    Thanks for sharing Kino--

    PS I also notice you write a lot of "darker" intense stuff, I'd like to see you explore more of your feelings, however they come out. That takes reflection... Hope it helps Peace bro.

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    • #3
      The rhythm and structure of this piece is a powerful tool. It further emphasizes the erratic subject matter.

      Some witty word choices.

      Well done.

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      • #4
        loved the rhyme but deep message in poetry here. think it has something to do with a mental problem as you say about messages going to head.

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