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Mentally Unstable

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  • Mentally Unstable

    Submiting to a journal
    Last edited by Kino; 10-11-2018, 02:58 PM. Reason: Being removed so i can submit to a journal

  • #2
    You've brought the reader right into your world, Kino, with really striking phrases and images. I like how you've woven the rhyme throughout; this has a great rhythm to it. Thanks for sharing it. Keep up the poetising.


    • #3
      yeah this was good -- welcome to what we call sometimes THE ZONE Of course I read this one before, but I liked the rapid-fire beat you managed to set up... the way you get going at pace around//laces out//chased around really was sweet sounding, it worked well. So the rhymes went well as well as the rapid-fire delivery, and that seems to work for the mindstate you're depicting. Exploring yourself here brought out some interesting associations. At this point that "true center" is where I find writing from works the best -- it becomes a challenge of connecting with it. Peace, Kino.
      Last edited by amenOra; 09-21-2018, 01:59 AM.


      • #4
        Welcome to The Zone Kino ! You've given a a glimpse of your world with memorable phrases and drawn us into your mind with vivid imagery Thanks for sharing this wonder piece with us! Keep writing and keep sharing!


        • #5
          Kino - I hope you're under the table too. Even more, I hope there's no earthquake. An insightful and well written introspection bordering on the poetic that allows us, the uninitiated, a vivid peek into a mental world unfamiliar to most. Thanks for sharing Kino. Namyh


          • #6
            The style and pace of this, the diction and the cutting phrase, suit the subject matter so well!

            I FELT the anxiety, the frenzy, the depression!

            You opened a windows into your soul, and while It was disturbing to peer inside, I could not look away!



            • #7
              Kino painted us a picture filled with mind altering stricture of a type that craves some freeing from a landscape unbelieving and we poets, ever-zoning, welcome all and any moaning 'cause our ever-changing levels help to shape each other's bevel 'til the edges that are tightest burn the freest and the brightest. Every word we offer after, on a post that's hit the rafter, builds a complimented rhythm full of phrased neologism. So keep posting here (for Kino) in the rhyming zone casino and rest easy that these inkers are a group of welcome thinkers who will cheer your every struggle as you navigate and juggle all the words that fill your crater. See you sooner man - than later.

              PS (Thanks for teaching me a new word - perseverate!)


              • grant hayes
                grant hayes commented
                Editing a comment
                The Rhymist Rap.