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  • Meletē

    Doesn’t matter how you get there -
    mindful breath unbound from bones,
    or chrysalis wound in feathering time:
    there’s nothing to choose between.
    The one gulf gathers,
    the one dawn climbs,
    the one unheeded witness keens.

    What matters picks apart the trellis -
    the prop for growing selves returns
    a heaven’s crop to an open earth:
    freed from dreaming and forever.
    The one sight sobers,
    the one dark serves,
    the one descended mercy severs.



  • #2
    This has a lot to it in such a little space. Re-reading it, all of the lines are significant, provide for more insight each read. Liked the "style" and how it carried between each stanza's last 3 lines, and sort of "pinioned" the poetry there. It's the function here which gets me, it's v. aesthetically pleasing, IMO.

    Comment


    • grant hayes
      grant hayes commented
      Editing a comment
      amenOra, I'm glad you've found pleasure in the structure, and that there's enough interest in the content to get you pondering. This poem may seem abstruse, but it has a point and a logic. It can say several things at once, but they are all distinct, like voices in polyphony. Thanks, as always, for getting involved with my work.

  • #3
    Interesting! Very Interesting! This ones a mystery to me . . .as you well know I'm a big fan of your enigmatic pieces.Which is how I would classify this one! I find this one especially perplexing! I felt compelled to reread it over and over again! I think I'm at number 20! Lol! I really like the way you put words together that seemingly don't belong together. I am especially drawn to:" mindful breath unbound from bones," and "or chrysalis wound in feathering time:" I have no idea what those phrases mean but it sure sounds cool! They give the reader the impression that the meaning is rather deep and profound. Perhaps one day soon I'll go to a party and see some artsy chick and say "mindful breath unbound from bones," and she'll start snapping her fingers like they used to do back in the day! Then invite me to her place to "Netflix and Chill" Lol! Great piece grant hayes!

    Comment


    • AlexandratheLate
      AlexandratheLate commented
      Editing a comment
      Lol lol Rhymeboy. Poet you do have a way with words from Grant.

  • #4
    Hey, Rhymeboy, if a phrase of mine ever helped you get an invite from an artsy girl at a party, I would be very pleased. 'My work here is done,' as it is said.

    Yes, putting words together in unfamiliar ways is what I like to do, with the dual aim of creating beautiful sound and fresh insight. At times, the phrases can seem to defy meaning; some readers enjoy the process of pondering further, others - the majority - just move on, possibly irritated. That's fine, either way.

    That you find certain phrases 'sound cool' and are enjoyable apart from their meaning makes me glad.

    Comment


    • Rhymeboy
      Rhymeboy commented
      Editing a comment
      I love your work grant hayes! Don't ever change! BTW I met a girl at a supermarket today and told her I was a poet And just to see what would happen I used your phrase: "mindful breath unbound from bones," She thought that was so deep! We talked for hours! She invited me over to her place but she had a lot of kids I felt uncomfortable so I stayed for about 2 hrs or so then left! If her apartment wasn't like a daycare it could have become a good relationship. You rock man! You are like my Internet Cyrano!

    • grant hayes
      grant hayes commented
      Editing a comment
      Rhymeboy, I always wanted to be Cyrano. Maybe I'm getting the wordplay bit; the swordplay, I fear, will remain a dream only.

      Your story here makes me smile. That's too bad about the daycare centre, but I'm tickled that my line worked for the pick-up! Zesta!

  • #5
    Grant whilst I have never thought of using your words to bolster my dating I do love to read them and this is no exception. Keep writing keep surprising us because it is one of the zones joy.

    Comment


    • grant hayes
      grant hayes commented
      Editing a comment
      Parkinsonspoet, it was a conversation about church-state relations in Tudor England that got me my best shot at l'amour. Go figure.

      Each time I come up with a poem, it still seems like the last. If it weren't for the zone, that 'last' would have become real many poems ago. Thank you for being such a steadfast enabler, Parkinsonspoet.

  • #6
    This poem was freeing to me Grant as though you were telling us to free ourselves. One part to me reminded me that while we are free - it’s limited or comes with accountability. It caused me to contemplate about life and how short life really is and how fast it goes. The muse of contemplation caused me to ponder. Well done Grant.
    Last edited by AlexandratheLate; 09-21-2018, 04:35 PM.

    Comment


    • grant hayes
      grant hayes commented
      Editing a comment
      All that you say here makes me feel that I have communicated effectively, Alexandra. It's a pleasure to be read thus. Many thanks!

  • #7
    I found this beautifully dark.

    The pace of this is haunting and hypnotic at the same time.

    I do not know if that was your intent, but it really struck me that way.

    As always, your word choice is impeccable.

    This cuts like a knife.

    I have read it several times and come up with a different interpretation each time.

    My most persistent understanding is how one create art from personal experiences, both painful and pleasant.

    I must say, that I have often felt as if, the sheer artistry of what you do, cannot be fully appreciated with a cursory read.

    What you write challenges the reader to bring something of themselves to its understanding.

    For me, fine art, in any form, ought to elicit introspection and ponderance, as I think the title refers to the ponderous muse of Greek mythology.

    Worth several reads!
    Last edited by DWAYNE; 09-25-2018, 08:52 PM.

    Comment


    • grant hayes
      grant hayes commented
      Editing a comment
      'Beautifully dark', 'haunting' and 'hypnotic' are all descriptors that I feel privileged to have earned, Dwayne. Thank you for all that you say here. To be read even once with appreciation is a joy to know; to be re-read and found different each time is all I could want.

  • #8
    Grant, these words are beautiful. They bring me peace.

    Comment


    • grant hayes
      grant hayes commented
      Editing a comment
      I am glad to know they bring you peace, Darthvader. That's an effect I like to have.

  • #9
    I really love this piece Grant. You have much wonderful work from which to choose, but this one sings to me. I've been back to this so many times w/out commenting because I didn't know how to put feeling into words.

    Not surprisingly, I had to look up "Meletē", the name was new to me. Sounds a perfect title to this piece.

    I love the casual sound of the opening line - conversational/relational - then we dive deep into your considerable talent for "putting words together in unfamiliar ways" as Rhymeboy mentions.

    Doesn’t matter how you get there -
    mindful breath unbound from bones,

    or chrysalis wound in feathering time:
    there’s nothing to choose between. (do you KNOW how perfect this line is?)
    The one gulf gathers,
    the one dawn climbs,
    the one unheeded witness keens.

    What matters picks apart the trellis -
    the prop for growing selves returns
    a heaven’s crop to an open earth:
    freed from dreaming and forever.
    The one sight sobers,
    the one dark serves,
    the one descended mercy severs.


    The last word stopped me - caught me - over and over. I've always thought of mercy as binding/healing. But sometimes 'to sever' brings healing too.

    I don't know how to analyze poetry. But I know when a poem touches my soul. This did. Thank you.

    Comment


    • RhymeLovingWriter
      RhymeLovingWriter commented
      Editing a comment
      Came back to read this again and had a look at the comments. Out of curiosity, which Catholic mystical perspectives have you been reading? I've come across a few over the years (some written on a level I've yet to comprehend), but am always looking for new materials.

    • grant hayes
      grant hayes commented
      Editing a comment
      John of the Cross, and especially Gustave Thibon's edition of Simone Weil's notes, published as 'Gravity and Grace'.

    • RhymeLovingWriter
      RhymeLovingWriter commented
      Editing a comment
      St. John of the Cross was hard core - along with his female contemporary, St. Theresa of Avila. I've read both Dark Night of the Soul and Interior Castle. Both quite beyond me at the time. I haven't heard of these you mention and look forward to discovering them. Thank you.

  • #10
    Hello grant, What a beautiful intrigue this is. The many paths to wherever, to choose wherever no matter what your wherever is, is irrelevant, what's relevant is the forever, each 'one' forever. I love how you use the word 'one', the six ones, as it were, together, a poem in itself. To understand this poem is impossible, but to understand it as 'one' may choose to understand it is enlightening. Like clapping oneself on the back for being so wise and to hell with the analytical hole diggers. An absolute joy to read your poetry again. You are keeping well and happy, I hope. Fond regards, Tony.

    Comment


    • grant hayes
      grant hayes commented
      Editing a comment
      An analytical hole digger I am, Tony; it is in verse that I attempt to redeem myself from this sorry state, but I may be digging even faster thereby.

    • Tony Grannell
      Tony Grannell commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello grant, No, no it's not you I speak of when I speak of hole diggers but those who do so because they can't, for whatever reason, be it a chip on the shoulder, jealousy, badness and so on. Whereas yourself and the many poets in this zone, I genuinely regard you all as tillers of the poetic planes such is your analytical prowess and honesty, and most grateful, I am, surely. Fond regards, Tony.

  • #11
    This is very affective, grant. The use and placement of words, rhymes, sounds; how they pull out feelings, visuals. Wonderful.
    Last edited by Muttado1sb; 10-04-2018, 02:27 PM.

    Comment


    • grant hayes
      grant hayes commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you for letting it speak to you, Muttado!

  • #12
    What matters picks apart the trellis -
    the prop for growing selves returns
    a heaven’s crop to an open earth:
    freed from dreaming and forever.


    I see this as an arc
    to a thoughtless end.
    We all bring to bear
    our own desire.

    Last edited by Johntee; 10-04-2018, 06:32 AM.

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