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  • Flow

    Flow


    The river unstepped in twice

    voices from the past

    seep in call out

    and one

    cajoling whine

    typecast has pierced

    sleep's veil listened hard

    heard for confirmation

    All dead I guess

    and he deader

    the doornail

    of the rest

    The fall

    from

    a horse

    enrolled in

    Three Musketeers

    An unlikely end no less than

    Bastard Conqueror Guillaume's

    ruptured campaign

    Rooted return

    shriven.

  • #2
    Not sure of the references, though I see William the Conqueror. Beautifully wrought - the sheer, structured music of it is captivating.

    Comment


    • #3
      After reading this a number of times I know even less than Grant reference-wise, and I still enjoyed the poem, the sentiments, the art of what was yes, music visible but invisible, with the cool construction and line breakage. I like the beginning for what seems like a look of self into itself? "All dead I guess" has a dry tone with humor behind it, to my ear. Enjoyed, thankya.

      Comment


      • #4
        ‘And he deader the doornail’ I thought didn’t flow like the rest. I enjoyed it overall.

        Comment


        • Johntee
          Johntee commented
          Editing a comment
          I left the piece unpunctuated, for sense that should be read "and he deader, the doornail of the rest,"
          Last edited by Johntee; 10-02-2018, 09:07 AM.

      • #5
        The shape of this poem is as attractive as it's 'flow'. Nicely done JT.

        Comment


        • #6
          Thank you all.
          An echo from the past.
          I've been off the road for two weeks,
          which means housebound, no library, no internet.
          The flow came from a radio play, a piece originally broadcast
          in the Sixties, waking me at 6 am, the cajoling whine belonging to a comic
          actor called Roy Kinnear who died after a fall from a horse during the 1973 filming
          of The Three Musketeers. William the Conqueror died while on campaign in Normandy
          after 5 weeks of agony having suffered abdominal injury when his horse threw him onto the pommel of the saddle.
          Last edited by Johntee; 10-02-2018, 09:10 AM.

          Comment


          • grant hayes
            grant hayes commented
            Editing a comment
            Thank you for the references, Johntee. They enable insight into your thought process, and reveal the skill with which you've captured this waking moment. The poem works apart from these, too, so, best of both worlds.
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