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Mrs. Bliss

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  • Mrs. Bliss

    Sometimes Mrs. Little bliss
    Is all a mist
    But Her love, is never amiss

    And when I fall, because I miss
    with tenderness she'll hold my wrist
    Pulling me out from the abyss

    Everytime she blows a kiss
    I, myself could never resist
    With just a touch of her lips, I'll have eternal bliss
    Last edited by jede; 09-06-2018, 10:39 AM.

  • #2
    I really liked that, once again. The last stanza -- simple, but effective. the images were placed nicely, lines just perfect imo. This is a case where simplicity maximizes your message, I feel. Which is deep, and the writing seems to reflect itself--She's "all a mist", causing me to pause and ponder, o yes it fits.
    That was the theme a felt each stanza reflected well, some sort of movement. you // the other.

    It makes me think, and in this case that's a good thing, thank you jede! Peace!


    • jede
      jede commented
      Editing a comment
      Once again, a huge thank you! I'm really happy to hear that you enjoy reading those. I appreciate again the feedback. I'm still new at this so anything that can help me improve myself is welcomed

    • amenOra
      amenOra commented
      Editing a comment
      Definitely. I always say that reading, digesting, analyzing, etc, and sharing your opinion/reaction on others' pieces makes for more stimulation and interest. Improvement is as important as enjoyment ... for instance, if you enjoy your poem, writing it/reading it, more chances are your reader will, too.
      Stephen King said, "How can a reader be swept away if the writer isn't?" And that stuck with me! You're most welcome, and thank you.
      Last edited by amenOra; 09-07-2018, 03:18 AM.

    • jede
      jede commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you!!
      Great advice! Love the Stephen King reference. I never knew it. Now, I'll definitely keep that in mind
      Thanks again!