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  • Boat-brained

    ... boat-brained, then, on a body’s depth of monsters:

    brush of their spines is woodsaw rasp on the hull.

    No bestiary lists or taxon latins their breed;
    their brimful eyes in comet knotwork
    trace an under-heaven on mud.

    Watch,

    to steer takes madding shift, from fixed above
    to seethed below, and back: forever nodding.

    To cease is the call to strike; the leap
    of eely hunt from deep to daylight
    scatters the plied surface, and keel is paper.



    Last edited by grant hayes; 09-02-2018, 02:41 AM.

  • #2
    A boat,
    a bobbing float.
    A while to wait
    what's caught.
    The fifth day
    put to sport
    Last edited by Johntee; 08-21-2018, 07:35 AM.

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    • #3
      This stood out from your others for... what is it, the movement? This one is Immediate, and brief. I get a sense of a "seething" sea which is about the purgatorial parts of "something", up and down rocking. And no "names" given to these things, it seems. Somehow it seems to turn back and devour itself.
      Seems to be about the psyche but I can't quite place the 'riddle' of what this seems to be. But I enjoyed the poem anyway

      Kudos-- Peace

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      • #4
        ^ The mind: tenuously afloat; the body: an unruly weave of drives beneath. To steer aright, one must look up and out to fixed patterns, and down and inward to the seething flux, constantly, like nodding. If the nodding ceases, the bodily plane pounces, shattering the differentiation.

        There, broke my rule about interpretation.

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        • #5
          That ending phrase...'and keel is paper'...strikes me strongly. Though we create much internally, it is evidenced by the action we take to record it - on paper. So much to like in this Grant. So thankful you are back and posting!

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          • grant hayes
            grant hayes commented
            Editing a comment
            Thank you, Rhymist. If I could, I would change the title to 'Keel is paper'.

          • RhymeLovingWriter
            RhymeLovingWriter commented
            Editing a comment
            Would you like me to change that for you?

          • grant hayes
            grant hayes commented
            Editing a comment
            It's okay, Rhymist; let it stand as is.

        • #6
          This gripped me as a struggle like Jonah - it became physical when he was thrown into the sea but prior to that he had such an internal struggle. I’m with RLW, so glad you’re posting again. I look forward to reading and digesting your work.

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          • #7
            I'm glad to have such keen readers as you, Alexandra; keeps me writing.

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            • #8
              Still shows plenty of colour in your word choices but moves at a faster pace giving a more jaunty effect. Gives quite a ride

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              • grant hayes
                grant hayes commented
                Editing a comment
                I guess the lines are longer than is typical for me, Parkinsonspoet, which contributes to the faster pace. My more usual short lines force a slower, more deliberate pace. I like it that I am able to sustain a sense of coherent rhythm in the longer phrasing.

            • #9
              You write profoundly with a lucid pen, and I see things differently afterwards. Wave particle duality has not been considered this way before that i know of.
              Last edited by lunar glide; 08-26-2018, 07:17 AM.

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              • #10
                ^ lunar glide, any profundity is brought by your own heart. I am simply a maker of frames; others put the art in them.

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