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Pompous Heart

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  • Pompous Heart

    Pompous heart



    Beautiful green eyes how my heart is mesmerized

    they radiate your sumptuous sensuality

    Captured and enraptured my love you

    Hypnotized

    You traversed my universe, with ferocity

    Leaving behind my heart resigned to compromise

    Deflated and degraded from pomposity

    In a blink it shrinks and learns to empathize

  • #2
    beautiful and the perfect vehicle to convey the emotions of the situation

    Comment


    • AlexandratheLate
      AlexandratheLate commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you very much Jon. I really appreciate your reading and commenting.

  • #3
    Cool lil flow to this. I like what you highlight here, the language is emotive, I feel it!

    Comment


  • #4
    Wow the rhyming is impressive and ends with such an important message. Excellent!

    Comment


    • AlexandratheLate
      AlexandratheLate commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you very much LG. It was difficult rhyming scheme.

  • #5
    Nicely done Alex, misusing your "Green eyes"

    Empathy pilasters
    atrial disaster
    masters envy's
    green-eyed monster
    Last edited by Johntee; 08-21-2018, 08:03 AM.

    Comment


    • #6
      Thank you JT.

      Comment


      • #7
        Your word choices here really evoke motion - expansive opening to shrunken finish - nicely done AtL!

        Comment


        • AlexandratheLate
          AlexandratheLate commented
          Editing a comment
          Thank you Paula for reading and commenting.

      • #8
        I am usually not a fan of abstractions like compromise and sensuality in a poetic context. But here, they are deployed with such a lyrical sensibility that I am won over. This piece is simply rife with devices that make it musically winsome; combined with the multi-syllabic abstractions, it's a kind of analytical incantation. It reads aloud very well.

        Comment


        • AlexandratheLate
          AlexandratheLate commented
          Editing a comment
          Thank you very much Grant. It was an exercise in trying to get the words to sing and be pleasant to the ear.
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