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  • Wells Fargo

    Wells Fargo


    Staging the changes,

    champing and sweating,

    stamping and steaming,

    glossy flanks heaving,

    unharnessing tackle

    in from the long haul,

    no trace of the jingle

    that set out for Fargo

    high stepping the plains

    and setting the pace so

    far gone in the dust storms

    the still wintered wind blows

    sighing honesty pays

    bankrolling years ago
    Last edited by Johntee; 08-17-2018, 08:35 AM. Reason: line 5 altered

  • #2
    Hmm, this seems unjustly neglected. Overall, it's quite beautiful. There are a couple of spots where the meter loses me; that may have to do more with the placement of line breaks than anything else.

    Comment


    • Johntee
      Johntee commented
      Editing a comment
      It grew from the word Fargo, a North Dakota city, which I'd heard some time ago originated as a name from the fact (apocryphal or not) that this was a stagecoach staging post that was a "far go" from the previous stage. The phrase seems more like it should belong in Oz rather than the USA and the stage-line company went from Wells Fargo the stagecoach operator to Wells Fargo the bank (most recently super-fined for abusing its customers trust.) Meter and me don't meet very often, I've altered line 5 to try to make it a bit more even but the lines hop between 5 and 6 syllables and the objective flips in the last 2 to reference banking bad-behaviour but end up tacked on like an afterthought, not very successfully.

  • #3
    Solemn, taking a few reads to penetrate. Last three lines were really great. I connected to this on I guess I'd call it a visceral level. I'm not quite sure what to make of it, honestly, for some reason! I like the words and what they could mean.

    Comment


    • Johntee
      Johntee commented
      Editing a comment
      I'm often led by the sound of words,
      not always to a good end.

  • #4
    Westward ho!

    Comment


    • Johntee
      Johntee commented
      Editing a comment
      "Go West
      young man!"
      carried the spirit
      of the USA
      once upon a day.
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