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forbidden taste

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  • forbidden taste

    O we remain

    anonymous vestiges--

    caught behind words,

    write "Dear You,"

    to worlds deserted now.

    --what is dear?

    I saw an empty dress

    -- I only thought of you --

    and the thought of you

    in those empty clothes

    fits so well it's

    more than beautiful
    Last edited by amenOra; 08-07-2018, 02:02 PM.

  • #2
    This is a poignant gem, amenOra, a darkling question flecked with reflective inclusions. I like what you're doing with the small chiasm empty-thought-thought-empty; that you finish with more than beautiful lifts this out of the top drawer into strewthdom. Thankya!

    Comment


    • amenOra
      amenOra commented
      Editing a comment
      Yeah, the simplicity worked well, and I pared down most of the poem to get what I was comfortable posting as "this". Thanks for noticing, I appreciate the insight. Welcome

  • #3
    What taste stands
    forbidden now?
    What fruit that
    none should know?

    Comment


    • amenOra
      amenOra commented
      Editing a comment
      Good questions!

  • #4
    I find it seductive.

    Comment


    • amenOra
      amenOra commented
      Editing a comment
      Thanks, I had hoped for that effect. Because I was struck by that, the empty dress, the inspiration.
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