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For Doneau

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  • For Doneau

    Shepherd well the taint you got
    in the long suburb, squire, says
    the serpent-wishful touchstone,
    brother breeze,
    free up your cynic
    pluck, untouchable, flying, plunge
    the market brahmins, bud,
    in morsels down their debt holes;
    devil-measure out your deficits
    in thimbles, and survive, no less
    resolved or clueless, for christsake,
    than the last of a stand:
    the decorated, bemused by all
    the blood and bullet-luck.
    That open bench, that bundle
    of coat - your pillow among the blind,
    lovely mansions, lucre-haunted -
    cut you a toehold on the sheer
    height of plenty; man, you’re vested
    mountain-mad, you pocket
    Zarathustra for these times of blocks.
    Mars glares close and east,
    the sun still kicking today's bucket;
    Mars more wild and redder
    than sucking shame. Redden
    your teeth with wine, oh my,
    my meticulous vagrant, sleep off
    the city's eye in plain, unspeakable
    Last edited by grant hayes; 08-06-2018, 05:10 PM.

  • #2
    This flowed well, and I was happy to get thru it and I noticed it seemed less opaque but still allusive. I connected more with tis, I guess, is the subtext to that. Lots of referential word play... Seeing Zarathustra and Mars was interesting. I've been into astrology/mythology, I'd just say this was a bit Jupiterian. But perhaps not I'm still getting the hang of them. Thinking on it.

    It was a breeze thru it all. Lots to think about here! I lie the wine bit added in. Thanks for sharing.
    Last edited by amenOra; 08-03-2018, 11:18 AM.


    • amenOra
      amenOra commented
      Editing a comment
      PS Love the title.

    • grant hayes
      grant hayes commented
      Editing a comment
      Thanks for engaging, amenOra. It's something of a rant, to be sure; a fervent burst of exhortation - solidarity in defiance - to one in a situation I know well.
      Last edited by grant hayes; 08-05-2018, 12:55 AM.

  • #3
    This sounds a powerful beat - from within seemed darkness a voice is booming.


    • grant hayes
      grant hayes commented
      Editing a comment
      Interesting that such sounds and tone came through to you, Rhymist. I can see what you mean.

  • #4
    This poem to me speaks of frustration and the futility of materialism, power. I enjoyed it.


    • grant hayes
      grant hayes commented
      Editing a comment
      It does speak of that, yes, Alexandra; glad it reached you.

  • #5
    To call by name the fallen,
    disdained by those who govern, showing
    no fellow feeling but wariness of taint,
    reveals you're on the down-lo
    when it comes to those
    that you know life
    has given low
    blows, left
    a cent
    Last edited by Johntee; 08-06-2018, 06:50 AM.


    • grant hayes
      grant hayes commented
      Editing a comment
      My dear Johntee,
      in Doneau, I've addressed at least three,
      one of whom is ... me.