The Stolen Rose

[BiocideJ]

I saw her yet unopened love in bloom
So fearing then another suitor's chance
I reached to steal it from the hedge too soon
But felt the sting of thorns upon my hands

So then instead I chose a diff'rent scheme
To seize the object of my heart's desire
With cunning I might steal her love unseen
And pluck the rose from out within the briar

I shared with her the places of my soul
Where neither light nor love before could cull
I gave and yet somehow became more whole
And by the time her love had blossomed full

My heart had found to its great disbelief
That she'd become the crimson-handed thief

[Johntee]

Unhand the rose,
better yet
seek heartsease

[RhymeLovingWriter]

Just what I needed to read this morning BiocideJ ! It's been too long for sonnet reading and remembering. Really nicely done with this piece!

[amenOra]

Well done, well done. I have to say I enjoyed this thoroughly, and was captured perfectly with it! You have breathed life into what others' might treat in a "trite" manner, but reminding me o that essence -- of caught attention. Captivation.

Kudos!

[BiocideJ]

Thank you. This was written in response to a poetry challenge. To write a sonnet using roses and not make it seem cliche. Your comment encourages me thay I was able to accomplish this.

[amenOra]

. that's funny that I was so dead on, well, I don't think I wandered over to the competition (was it submitted as a response here?)

I just felt such what I said, and noticing it was in iambic (or a meter) and sonnet was a great thing, and I felt such an electricity in it, It's living poetry. Much of what I call romantic, darkly tinged. Just more UPs on this ... you did well with it. The volte worked well to shift things up thanks for sharing.

[BiocideJ]

RhymeLovingWriter I've never really taken to the sonnet form before (this is only my second and the first in true Shakespearean form), but while on the one hand I find the lines a bit long (compared to what I've become comfortable with) I do find there is good freedom to really say what you mean. I'm sure this is why it is such a romantic form.

(this was meant to be a reply)

[amenOra]

@Biocide .. that's funny that I was so dead on, well, I don't think I wandered over to the competition (was it submitted here?)

I just felt such what I said, and noticing it was in iambic (or a meter) and sonnet was a great thing, and I felt such an electricity in it, It's living poetry. Much of what I call romantic, darkly tinged. Just more UPs on this ... you did well with it. The volte worked well to shift things up thanks for sharing.

[grant hayes]

Elegantly handled form, and charming subject. Very accomplished piece, Biocide. I'm wondering if the tenth line could be rearranged slightly:

From: Where neither light nor love could before cull

To: Where neither light nor love before could cull

Does that improve the flow, in your ear?

[BiocideJ]

Actually, I had considered that exact revision and for some reason thought it wouldn't work because it would disrupt the iambic pattern. In actuality setting it done, however, I see that not only does it not, but that it is actually less disruptive. Thank you for the feedback.

[AlexandratheLate]

Nice sonnet biocide. I truly enjoyed it. Thank you.