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A further response to Grant’s Aback of Empties Stanza 3(5)

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  • A further response to Grant’s Aback of Empties Stanza 3(5)

    A further response to Grant's
    Aback of Empties

    After the excursionary Swan

    through Tuohy's amber nectar

    I read Stanza 4 as a soliton,

    the single wave that travels alone.

    Welcome to the realm

    of Poseidon,



    of tectonic plates,

    the eyeless mask,

    Schliemann's gilded treasure.

    But overnight


    has gybed

    to different tack,

    anethetised from intoxicated,

    a frozen face the eyeless mask,

    mind and muscle losing track,

    craic transformed to transient stroke,

    regret to follow the pleasure.

  • #2
    Woah, jagged end (to me) Or is it that it's so clean cut? I like the rhythm of this, and I say the former because your flow was characteristic, the beautiful word-usage, the Titanic conceptuals, I felt the weight of the entire ocean being pulled.
    And definitely it showcases a pattern I find myself... From the different vicissitudes shaping my Fate, I crawl on the rocks trying not to be broken. And when the sun comes out I burn completely.
    Something! Lovely poetry. I wanted to say how beautiful I find it, we go through poetry, presumably reading enough to get a grip on it, and then we read a poem that reminds us ... what poetry is ... in a way that we feel in our soul.
    I felt this in my soul! Kudos!~


    • #3
      I agree with amenOra - lovely poetry here: critique, reflection, exegesis, eisegesis, and wealth of allusion, all sung into a fine music.


      • #4
        Thank you both.
        Since I read Rhymezone in the library
        and reply on the fly, I'm relying on dubious memory
        distilling the quintessence for further cogitation
        It helps that your originals
        provide such rich source materials
        Grant. Thanks again.