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  • Johntee
    commented on 's reply
    Nice to have you back RLW. I've reposted it to put photos on, in the process of which I find that Google's first offering for "deconsecrated" is "churches for sale"

  • Johntee
    commented on 's reply
    AmenOra your read was correct for the feel I wanted but ending on "consent" left it less definitely dark than I intended so I've rewritten a number of lines to leave it ending on "the passing day's extent" and with "sink" rhymed more truly with brink. I intended to add photos to this but my skill level is such I've had to repost to put photos on.
    Last edited by Johntee; 05-14-2018, 08:17 AM.

  • RhymeLovingWriter
    replied
    Absolutely beautiful - and spot on! Thank you.

    Leave a comment:


  • amenOra
    replied
    Cadence, I love the clipped words and how they flow. Consent? To what? That's what I'm asking myself. Consent to the darkness, perhaps.
    Before I even read this I "sensed" the word deconstruction in the title. Sure enough it sorta fit!

    It's a curious poem for what it represents, or could represent.
    A relative died a bit ago, sadly, and he is being buried today. I am not sure if I will go.

    And the yew, I recall, can last so many years, If I'm not mistaken wasn't a yew found in Israel thousands of years old? Not even that large.

    Anyway, a well rounded poem and I am glad you wrote it, that I can read it! Peace

    Leave a comment:


  • Johntee
    started a topic Deconsecrated

    Deconsecrated

    Deconsecrated


    While grass grows rank and gravestones sink

    and marble telling the tale of lives,

    outworn by lichened nature's claim,

    is dumbstruck from the roll of time

    yet still the pagan yew survives,

    enshrined in thorned entanglement,

    holding the songbird's lone lament

    for twilight trembling on the brink

    that marks the passing day's extent.

    Last edited by Johntee; 05-14-2018, 07:46 AM. Reason: Rewritten to reorder the lines with a view to adding photos
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