Tweet
I am editing a special feature for Atlas Poetica. http://atlaspoetica.org/?p=1874
All you rhymers, check it out!
MHenry
All you rhymers, check it out!
MHenry
-
-
You should. RhymeLovingWriter, I have no doubt you can get a rhyming kyoka published in my special feature!Comment
-
BumpComment
-
Thanks for the bump, aO!Comment
-
FAO MHenry
Having read your reference prompt to "What is a Tanka" it seems to require 5 lines of not more than 31 syllables in the pattern 5,7,5,7,7 but rhymes are not a requirement. Your comment on AmenOra's piece rhymed lines 2 and 5. Here are three pieces with slack rhymes on 2 & 5. As usual they are not personal experiences. How do they fare? If these pass (that is I've understood the task) next we come to Kyoka which are comic verse? Again I've read your prompt and am all at sea. No syllable requirement. Rhyme possible but not encouraged. A pivot or maybe not. All in all I guess this leaves me out.
Places and Times
Beat poet jazz rhymes
from bent cornets be-bop sounds
Kind of Blue Note tones
"Howl" talks away Ginsburg's loss,
Mantras tunnel wounded minds.
Being Beastly
Bitten by some germ,
rage at the moon. Wear wolfsbane
then when claws sharpen
and sprouting hair grows to fur
run, rejoice what you've become.
A Verse in the Garden of Time
From fevered heart's blood
pen'd memories of desire
phrase by phrase recall'd.
We are nature's diarists,
loose leaves burnt in Winter's fire.
Last edited by Johntee; 04-17-2018, 08:47 AM.Comment
-
Hi, Johntee, These days, most everyone stays away from 57577 in tanka. Even short, long, short, long, long, has fallen by the wayside. Tanka generally do not rhyme, but Kyoka can rhyme. Kyoka can be serious or humorous, but they don't have any of the restrictions of traditional tanka. Neither tanka, nor kyoka have titles and are usually in all lower case, unless you use a proper noun, in which case it is a choice. Pivots are a device used in tanka and kyoka, but is not necessarily required, depending on the editor.
Gogyoshi do have titles, and five lines with no other rules at all, except that 57577 is verboden in Gogyoshi. I have just learned about Gogyoshi and have written a few the past couple of days. I haven't decided if that is a form in which I want to invest my poetic endeavors.
Sometimes slant rhymes are hard to find. Yours, mine, and others! I have trouble finding them in your second verse. The closest I can come is wolfsbane and become, but they don't seem to slant rhyme for me. Please tell me what I missed! I have two submissions from poets whose rhymes I cannot find!
Places and Times
Beat poet jazz rhymes
from bent cornets be-bop sounds
Kind of Blue Note tones
"Howl" talks away Ginsburg's loss,
Mantras tunnel wounded minds.
Being Beastly
Bitten by some germ,
rage at the moon. Wear wolfsbane
then when claws sharpen
and sprouting hair grows to fur
run, rejoice what you've become.
A Verse in the Garden of Time
From fevered heart's blood
pen'd memories of desire
phrase by phrase recall'd.
We are nature's diarists,
loose leaves burnt in Winter's fire.Comment
-
MH thanks for your attention
You'll notice I called them slack rhymes
bane and come fall into the very slack variety,
but I still find them pleasing to my tongue.
In the first verse you've greenlit wounded
but not linked to any other, whereas I would
link "sounds tones" and the "wound" part of wounded,
but I'm not a poet, and I'm inclined to think I'm Lost in Japan.
My other attempts once I'd read MKei's piece
were
Atoll (kyoka?)(Lake Biwa came out of an NHK (Japan) programme I happened to be watching) and then Bipolar
so I read the screed,
no anchorage found
swung lead pulls up sand
a spy glass for the blind
oystered pearl coral bound.
an oyster with true grit's
unscratchable itch gives it
nacreous embodiment
the pearl handled threat
a knife to make the split
Lake Biwa pearls fresh
farmed three years
to adorn
scorn
the sphere.
tongue teeth cheek chew
ruminance turns on nip
interlaced with tuck
misplaced
a bitten lip
And Bipolar
the cup of life,
drunk to dregs then filled again
overflowing day to night
manic thought in pursuit
a spirit rapt in febrile flight.
in that fractal instant
of shredded thought
the balance tilts,
delight to regret
for quintessence spent.
the bitter lees
alone are left
bleak depression
brings to earth
life's penumbral toneLast edited by Johntee; 04-19-2018, 08:07 AM.
-
Comment